【正文】 有某種“最佳狀態(tài)點”。I don39。它和選擇悖論這一概念相關(guān)千萬年來，人類都生活在小型狩獵及采集社會，那時的人沒有機會在社交網(wǎng)站上千里挑一選擇對象。But technology is producing one moderntrend that I find particularly 39。s very intuitive andwho39。那些血清素系統(tǒng)反應(yīng)活躍的人往往更加傳統(tǒng)，遵循慣例與規(guī)則，尊重權(quán)威 他們通常篤信宗教 —宗教信仰正屬于血清素系統(tǒng)— 傳統(tǒng)派自然找傳統(tǒng)派的人 如此一來，是同類相吸。s an awful lot of people like that in thisroomthey39。ve been able to watch who39。ve e tobelieve that we39。When you sit down in a bar, in a coffee house, on a parkbench, your ancient brain snaps into action like a sleeping cat awakened, andyou smile and laugh and listen and parade the way our ancestors did 100,000years can give you various peopleall the dating sites canbutthe only real algorithm is your own human is not going tochange 、咖啡館或坐在公園的長椅時，你的大腦會立即開始反應(yīng)，就像一只沉睡的貓被喚醒一樣。m Chief Scientific Advisor to , I39。電子郵件、短信、表達情感的符號、色情短信、給照片或自拍點贊...關(guān)于如何求愛有了新的規(guī)則和禁忌，但是，這真的徹底改變了愛嗎？來看看上個世紀40年代，那時候汽車剛大行其道，頓時人們便有了“可移動臥室”。s no question that technology ischanging the way we court: ing, texting, emojis to express your emotions,sexting, 39。它們位于大腦中最原始的位置，和能量、注意力、渴望度、動力、欲望及能動性相連。這三種大腦系統(tǒng)和大腦中的其他部分結(jié)合起來，控制著人類性、愛情以及家庭生活。是的，長期處于熱戀期是有可能的。m goingto say almost not at study the and my colleagues have put over100 people into a brain scannerpeople who had just fallen happily in love,people who had just been rejected in love and people who are in love it is possible to remain 39。s very monaround the world, but we are built to 。m notsuggesting that we39。事實上，妻子們之間會產(chǎn)生爭執(zhí)，有時甚至會毒害對方的孩子。s you39。 And he leaned towards me and he whispered,39。科技并沒有改變愛，為什么？ 來自TED英語演說00:00 19:13I was recently traveling in the Highlandsof New Guinea, and I was talking with a man who had three asked him,39。她在這場活力充沛、巨細靡遺的演講中，以第一手資料解釋：更快速度的連結(jié)反而產(chǎn)生步調(diào)更慢、更親密的關(guān)系。Is he going to say five? Is he going tosay 10? Is he going to say 25?39?！盓ightysix percent of human societiespermit a man to have several wives: in the vast majority of thesecultures, only about five or ten percent of men actually do have several several partners can be a fact, cowives can fight witheach other, sometimes they can even poison each other39。有多個伴侶可是件頭疼的事。human beings 39。ve looked at adultery in 42 cultures, I understand, actually, someof the genetics of it, and some of the brain circuitry of 39。How is technology changing love? I39。我從事大腦研究，我和我的同事們對100多人進行了大腦掃描，包括那些剛剛陷入愛情的人、在愛情里受挫的人以及長期沉浸在愛之中的人。ve evolved three distinctly different brain systems formating and reproduction: sex drive, feelings of intense romantic love andfeelings of deep cosmic attachment to a longterm together, thesethree brain systemswith many other parts of the brainorchestrate oursexual, our romantic and our family ：性驅(qū)動、感受濃烈的浪漫以及對長期伴侶深層的強烈的依賴感。re not going to change if you swipe left or righton ，在邊緣系統(tǒng)下，即人類感受情感發(fā)泄情緒的區(qū)域。There39。re seeing new rulesand taboos for how to , you knowis this actually dramaticallychanging love? What about the late 1940s, when the automobile became verypopular and we suddenly had rolling bedrooms?可以肯定的一點是科技正在改變?nèi)祟惖那髳鄯绞?。Even dating sites are not changing 39。即這并不是一個征婚網(wǎng)站，這是個介紹網(wǎng)站。Technology is also not going to change whoyou choose to study the biology of personality, and I39。So Icreated a questionnaire directly from brain science to measure the degree towhich you express the traitsthe constellation of traitslinked with eachof these four brain then put that questionnaire on various datingsites in 40 million or more people have now taken thequestionnaire, and I39。And as it turns out, those who were veryexpressive of the dopamine system tend to be curious, creative, spontaneous,energeticI would imagine there39。好奇且有創(chuàng)意的人需要和同類在一起。s got very good verbal skills and people skills, who39。人類擇偶有自然模式，現(xiàn)代技術(shù)不會改變我們選擇的對象。我認為它尤為重要。s some sort of sweet spot in the brain。 and you don39。結(jié)果是不再做出選擇。slow love.39。 We don39。我們調(diào)查了5000多人，這是基于美國統(tǒng)計局的代表性樣本。超過50%的人在婚前有過長期同居的經(jīng)歷。總不會是那么多人都喪失了理智？And I stumbled, then, on a statistic thatreally came home to was a very interesting academic article in which Ifound that 67 percent of singles in America today who are living longterm withsomebody, have not yet married because they are terrified of 39。一篇極其有趣的學術(shù)文章發(fā)現(xiàn)67%的處于長期同居的美國未婚人士，之所以還未結(jié)婚是因為擔心離婚。s singles want to know every single thing about a partner beforethey learn a lot between the sheets, not only about how somebody makeslove, but whether they39。ve got nofeeling of shame for sex before marriage, I think people are taking their timeto ，很少為懷孕或疾病感到擔憂。re seeing is a real expansion of the premitment stage before you tie marriage used to be the beginning of a relationship, now it39。re not marrying as often,they are settling down eventually with a longterm 。Would youremarry the person you39。于是我突然想到：在這個長期婚前準備期，如果你在婚前擺脫了一段糟糕的情感關(guān)系或許就會有更多美滿的婚姻。s actuallywomen piling into the job market in cultures around the millions ofyears, our ancestors lived in little hunting and gathering to work to gather their fruits and came home with 60to 80 percent of the evening doubleine family was the were regarded as just as economically, socially and sexually powerful ，甚至也不是“慢慢愛”的結(jié)果。Then the environment changed some 10,000years ago, we began to settle down on the farm and both men and women becameobliged, really, to marry the right person, from the right background, from theright religion and from the right kin and social and political 39。Along with this, we see a rise of a host ofbeliefs: the belief of virginity at marriage, arranged marriagesstrictlyarranged marriagesthe belief that the man is the head of the household,that the wife39。女性一生一世必須尊夫所有這些都是過去式了，有些地方仍有這些現(xiàn)象，但大部分地區(qū)這些現(xiàn)象都不復存在了。m not a Pollyanna。ve studied, as I say,adultery in manythere39。Nobody gets out alive.39。巴特勒每個人都有困擾，但我認為詩人蘭德爾Kelly Stoetzel: Thank you so much for that, you know, there39。誒斯特stalk, was th