【正文】 of 2020, I felt that I needed to develop my experimental skills. I chose to work at a key state laboratory established at the Institute of Polymer Chemistry, Big Name University. In this project, I worked on the nanoparticles of polystyrene and successfully produced 20 nanometers particles. I worked on nanoparticles of polystyrene to successfully produce 20 nanometer particles. In pleting the project, I used (GC), fluorescence (FL) spectrum, (NMR), scanning electronic microscope (SEM), and dynamic light scattering to analyze the polymerization system quenched in different stages. I used GC, fluorescence spectrum, NMR, a scanning electron microscope and dynamic light scattering to analyze the polymerization system at different stages. The fluorescence spectrum showed some peculiar trends to which I applied detailed photophysical analysis. Finally, I discovered that phase separation exists in the monoproperty St/DVB polymer. I was devoted to my research which I found very enjoyable. Fortunately, it was fruitful – several international journals have published papers quoting our results. （ Editor39。） In my research attempts, I utilized for the first time all my intellect and knowledge to deal with practical problems and explore new knowledge. (To me, no other endeavor than lab work provides the kind of intellectual challenge and excitement.) I can never fet the tremendous elation I experienced while working out something new and useful to the society. (I became addicted to the elation experienced when a solution to a seemingly insurmountable problem was found.) And to work with a group under the guidance of a prestigious scholar—how charming are the great joy and wisdom gained from it! 廢話。s ment： This is misplaced. Should be in the paragraph talking about career plan. 應(yīng)該提前。s ment：這一段具體談想去的學(xué)校以及原因，應(yīng)該單獨(dú)成一段，放在后面。） I realized that I was in need of systematic training at a more advance level. Furthermore, I wish to be embraced in a professional environment to set out on the path toward my lifelong career (goal) : to be a productive and original researcher or professor. Furthermore, I wished to bee part of a professional environment that can aid my progress towards my chosen career, that of an original and productive researcher or professor. //（ Editor39。s ment：The original is too week. Or, we can say, the Big Name stands out among universities in that it emphasizes the need of scientific experimentation.） In the first semester of college life, we were told to do all the experiments independently. （ Editor39。 Personal Statement The Creed （ motto） of my family is ―Believe in yourself and take action to change the reality‖. The creed is what has inspired, is inspiring and will inspire me. It tells me never to give up no matter what will happen and how hopeless, because no one cheat me out of ultimate success but myself. (deny) (Editor‘s ment： parallelism: what happens and how hopeless the situation may seem。如果對(duì)這個(gè)學(xué)校沒(méi)有進(jìn)行過(guò)什么研究，那就不要寫(xiě)下面這段話，什么你們學(xué)校有一流的師資 (most seasoned faculty)，有一流的設(shè)備(first class facilities)， 有一切為學(xué)生服務(wù)的精神 (catering to students‘ needs)， 還有你們很注重多元化 (diversity) 等等。除了品格以外還可以寫(xiě)性格，比如 說(shuō)很有活力、多才多藝等都可以寫(xiě)。在專(zhuān)業(yè)方面的能力，第一項(xiàng)就是眼光。 首先是關(guān)于寫(xiě)作的動(dòng)機(jī) (Motivation)。 在經(jīng)過(guò)前一階段認(rèn)真的反思，找到自己準(zhǔn)確的定位之后，我們就該進(jìn)入PS 寫(xiě)作的第三步了，這就是確立文章的主題。 在一篇 PS中，我們應(yīng)該用心地追溯自己的個(gè)人歷史，努力找出自己的閃 光點(diǎn)。作為出國(guó)材料的重中之重，你的任務(wù)就是要通過(guò)這一信件反映出你的個(gè)性。 錄取過(guò)程是一個(gè)很主觀的 過(guò)程，對(duì)于 PS 的寫(xiě)作來(lái)說(shuō) , 對(duì)方在尚未見(jiàn)到你的情況下，文中所描繪的你就像是你的替身，在和大洋彼岸的洋教授們進(jìn)行一次悄無(wú)聲息的約見(jiàn)或面談，在這種關(guān)鍵時(shí)刻，你可一定要 ―處心積慮 ‖地使對(duì)方迅速建立起一個(gè)好印象。 下一個(gè)常見(jiàn)到的寫(xiě)作模塊是談出國(guó)留學(xué)的動(dòng)機(jī)，也就是表決心 以上是我國(guó)學(xué)生在寫(xiě)作 PS 時(shí)的幾種常見(jiàn)的模式化方式，希望同學(xué)們?cè)谝院蟮膶?xiě)作中，反觀一下自己是不是也犯了這樣的錯(cuò)誤，從而能夠做到心中 有數(shù)，以防再落入俗套。 公式化寫(xiě)作的中間部分則通 常會(huì)出現(xiàn)以下兩種情況：一種是喜歡渲染自己如何勤奮，一種是喜歡突出自己如何智慧。較為老套的話，在本來(lái)就篇幅有限的 PS 里實(shí)在沒(méi)有必要去說(shuō)，它只能展現(xiàn)你的平庸無(wú)趣。我所接觸到的新東方的學(xué)生常見(jiàn)的寫(xiě)作內(nèi)容通?？煞譃橐韵聨讉€(gè)部分或者是幾大模塊：開(kāi)頭部分說(shuō)廢話，第二部分強(qiáng)調(diào)勤奮和聰明，第三部分講課外活動(dòng)。但是一份草率，或者平庸，或者一看就是抄來(lái)的申請(qǐng)材料卻能讓你前功盡棄。 奉勸那些托福沒(méi)有達(dá)到要求的學(xué)生，一定要重考一次，爭(zhēng)取通過(guò)。 擁有一個(gè)好成績(jī)已遠(yuǎn)遠(yuǎn)不是申請(qǐng)者制勝的法寶，對(duì)于同一所大學(xué)而言，如果兩個(gè)申請(qǐng)者的考試成績(jī)懸殊不太大，那么，申請(qǐng)材料中所體現(xiàn)的申請(qǐng)者的綜合素質(zhì)的高低就成了評(píng)審委員會(huì)的教授們錄取裁斷的依據(jù)。對(duì)于西方大學(xué)而言，考試成績(jī)只是一個(gè)方面，他們最看重的還是考試所不能衡量的那些素質(zhì)。分?jǐn)?shù)只是一個(gè)參考而已， GRE主要看平均分?jǐn)?shù)線， TOEFL 則是一個(gè)過(guò)關(guān)分?jǐn)?shù)。 優(yōu)秀的申請(qǐng)材料可以使國(guó)外的教授們忽略一定的 GRE 分?jǐn)?shù)差，如幾十分，甚至一兩百分，而決定給予獎(jiǎng)學(xué)金。這種公式化的寫(xiě)作方法其實(shí)是挺害人的。 所以我勸大家，以后不要再引用什么名人名言了，不僅起不到你所想像的令對(duì)方大跌眼鏡，深為嘆服的效果，相反，他會(huì)覺(jué)得你只是一個(gè)缺乏創(chuàng)造力的學(xué)生，在他的內(nèi)心便對(duì)你產(chǎn)生一種厭惡和反感 新東方學(xué)員的第二個(gè)特 點(diǎn)是喜歡在第一段中揭示自己專(zhuān)業(yè)的重要性。 第四種錯(cuò)誤是喜歡在開(kāi)頭交代自己寫(xiě)這篇 PS 的目的，比方說(shuō)， ―This document is to facilitate my application for admission and scholarship.‖，我稱(chēng)這種寫(xiě)作為 ―說(shuō)了也白說(shuō) ‖的寫(xiě)法。 新東方同學(xué)常見(jiàn)的寫(xiě)作模塊的第三大部分可以稱(chēng)之為 ―課外活動(dòng)篇 ‖。 我國(guó)學(xué)生很少能夠在自述中展現(xiàn)出外國(guó)教授所不知道的但卻很可能感興趣的社會(huì)生活及個(gè)人情況，諸如做義工的經(jīng)驗(yàn)、對(duì)社會(huì)和自己所讀學(xué)科的看法、具備什么特長(zhǎng)、對(duì)于未來(lái)有何展望等等。所謂Personal, 顧名思義，就是要求申請(qǐng)者寫(xiě)出自己的個(gè)性或者是個(gè)人特色來(lái)。 切記： ―獨(dú)特性 ‖是寫(xiě)作 PS 的生命。所謂定位，具體在一篇PS里，就是說(shuō)申請(qǐng)者如何在經(jīng)過(guò)第一階段的反思之后確定出比較能夠體現(xiàn)自己獨(dú)特性所在的個(gè)人形象。該誰(shuí)出陣，用什么樣的秩序，就要靠你這個(gè)統(tǒng)帥來(lái)根據(jù)需要調(diào)兵遣將。 關(guān)于科研能力，你可以寫(xiě)自己的經(jīng)驗(yàn)，可以寫(xiě)自己的技能，可以寫(xiě)自己研究的范圍，還可以寫(xiě)自己研究的成果。品格里面有對(duì)專(zhuān)業(yè)的獻(xiàn)身精神，也有超越自身的利益而對(duì)社會(huì)的獻(xiàn)身精神。當(dāng)然這一項(xiàng) 并不是一定要求的。 成功案例分析和評(píng)改 材料學(xué)專(zhuān)業(yè)申請(qǐng)文件評(píng)改 Personal Statement The Creed of my family is ―Believe in yourself and take action to change the reality‖. The creed is what has inspired, is inspiring and will inspire me. It tells me never to give up no matter what will happen and how hopeless, because no one cheat me out of ultimate success but myself. I am born in a impoverished family isolated by high mountains. I have one brother and one sister. The fee for us three is a great burden on my parents. When I was very young, I began to do what I can do to help alleviate the financial burden on my parents and built strong independent ability. And I studied diligently and outperformed most of my classmates. For years, my academic report card was the main source of pride in my family. As the best student of my high school, I was well prepared in 1995 when I took the National University Entrance Examinations, held nation wide once every year to screen high school graduates for higher education. I ranked the first in overall scores of the students