【正文】 一位老婦有一只貓。這只貓很老,它跑不快了,她可不會咬,因?yàn)樗昙o(jì)太大了。一天,老貓發(fā)現(xiàn)一只老鼠,它跳起來抓住了這只老鼠。但她無法咬動(dòng)它,于是,老鼠失去她的嘴逃跑了,因?yàn)樨埐荒芤?。這時(shí),老太太變得非常生氣,因?yàn)樨堖€沒有被殺老鼠。她開始打貓。這只貓說:“不要打你的舊的仆人。我和你一起工作過的多年,我將為你工作還,但是我太老了。不要無情,但是請記住,老舊的出色表現(xiàn),他們年輕的時(shí)候了?！?the dog and the shadow a dog, crossing a bridge over a stream with a piece of flesh in his mouth, saw his own shadow in the water, and took it for that of another dog, with a piece of meat double his own in therefore let go his own, and fiercely attacked the other dog, to get his larger piece from thus lost both: that which he grasped at in the water, because it was a shadow。and his own, because the stream swept it 一條狗嘴里叼塊肉, ,。第二篇：簡單英語演講稿帶翻譯簡單英語演講稿帶翻譯blonde39。s appendicitis金發(fā)美女的闌尾炎a blonde has sharp pains in her doctor examines her and says, “you have acute appendicitis.” the blonde says, “that39。s sweet, doc, but i came here to get medical help.” 一個(gè)金發(fā)美女的腹部側(cè)面感到劇痛。醫(yī)生檢查之后告訴他：“你得了急性闌尾炎。（金發(fā)美女聽成acute 以為是a cute，一個(gè)可愛的闌尾炎）”金發(fā)美女說：“您真貼心，醫(yī)生，但是我是來求醫(yī)的?！?little johnny...finding jesus 小強(qiáng)尼尋找耶穌a sunday school teacher is concerned that his students might be a little confused about jesus, so he asks his class, “where is jesus today?”steven raises his hand and says, “he39。s in heaven.”mary answers, “he39。s in my heart.”little johnny waves his hand furiously and blurts out, “he39。s in our bathroom!”the surprised teacher asks little johnny how he knows this.“well,” little johnny says, “every morning, my father gets up, bangs on the bathroom door and yells 39。jesus christ, are you still in there?!39?！币幻魅諏W(xué)校的老師擔(dān)心他的學(xué)生們有可能對耶穌感到困惑，于是他問他的學(xué)生們：“耶穌今天在哪里？”斯蒂芬舉起他的手，說道：“他在天堂?！爆旣惢卮穑骸八谖倚睦??！毙?qiáng)尼用力揮了揮手，脫口而出：“他在我們浴室里！”大吃一驚的老師問小強(qiáng)尼他怎么知道這個(gè)?！斑@個(gè)嘛，”小強(qiáng)尼說：“每天早上，我父親起床后，都會敲浴室的門喊著?基督耶穌，你還在里面??？?”little johnny...know it all 小強(qiáng)尼什么都知道little johnny asks his mother her replies, “gentlemen don39。t ask ladies that question.”johnny then asks his mother how much she his mother replies, “gentlemen don39。t ask ladies that question.”the boy then asks, “why did daddy leave you?”to this, the mother says, “you shouldn39。t ask that,” and sends him to his the way, johnny trips over his mother39。s he picks it up, her driver39。s license falls runs back into the room.“i know all about you are 36 years old, weigh 127 pounds and daddy left you because you got an 39。f39。 in sex!”小強(qiáng)尼問他母親的年齡是多少。她回答道：“紳士們是不會問女士們這個(gè)問題的?！庇谑菑?qiáng)尼問他母親她的體重是多少。他的母親再一次回答：“紳士們是不會問女士們這個(gè)問題的?！庇谑沁@孩紙問：“為什么爸爸離開了你？”對于這個(gè)問題，這位母親說：“你不應(yīng)該問這個(gè)問題。”然后把他送回他自己的房間。在走的時(shí)候，強(qiáng)尼被他母親的錢包絆倒。當(dāng)他把錢包撿起來的時(shí)候，她的駕照掉了出來。強(qiáng)尼跑回母親的房間說：“現(xiàn)在關(guān)于你的問題我都知道答案了。你36歲了，體重127磅，還有爸爸離開你的原因是因?yàn)槟阍趕ex上的考評是f！”（got an 39。f39。 in sex，孩紙啊，你想歪了，那是“性別：女”啊……）little johnny...definite definition 小強(qiáng)尼肯定的定義the preschool teacher says, “we39。re going to do vocabulary can use the 39。definitely39。 in a sentence?”mary raises her hand and exclaims，“me me me!”the teacher says, “go ahead, what39。s the sentence?mary replies, ”the sky is definitely blue.“that39。s good, mary,” says the teacher, “but the sky can also be gray or white.”sam raises his hand and states, “grass is definitely green.”the teacher says, “that39。s good, sam, but grass can be brown, too.”little johnny raises his hand and asks, “do farts have lumps in them?” the teacher says, “no johnny, why do you ask that?”little johnny replies, “well, i definitely sh*t my pants.”幼兒園老師說：“我們今天要做詞匯題了。誰能在句子里運(yùn)用“肯定”這個(gè)詞？”瑪麗舉了手大聲說：“我我我！”老師說：“你說吧，什么句子？”瑪麗回答：“天空肯定是藍(lán)藍(lán)的?！薄盎卮鸬貌诲e(cuò)，瑪麗”老師點(diǎn)評道：“但天空也可能是灰色或者白色的?！鄙侥放e手說道：“草地肯定是綠色的?！崩蠋熣f：“回答得不錯(cuò)，山姆，但是草地也可能是棕色的?！毙?qiáng)尼舉手問道：“屁會結(jié)成塊兒嗎？”老師說：“不會的，強(qiáng)尼，你為什么問這個(gè)問題？”小強(qiáng)尼回答：“好吧，我“肯定”大便在褲襠里了。”經(jīng)同意轉(zhuǎn)載自：we are young.“how to spend the youth?” it is a meaningful answer it, first i have to ask “what do you understand by the youth?” youth is not a time of life, it’s a state of ’s not a matter of rosy cheeks, red lips or supple ’s the matter of the ’s the freshneof the deep spring of poet said “to see a world in a grain of sand, and a heaven in a wild flower, hold infinity in the palm of your hand, and eternity in an days ago, i had a chance to listen to a learnt a lot ’d like to share it with all of ’s show our right can see three lines that show how our and life have a short line of about yours? i wondered whether we could see our future in this , let’s make a is our future? where is our love, career, and life? tell , it is in our is held in all want the future to be better than the the future can go better ’t cry because it is over, smile because it the past, we’ve learnt that the life is tough, but we are ’ve learnt that we can’t choose how we feel, but we can choose what about doesn’t mean you don’t have it, it does mean you should do it in a different doesn’t mean you should give up, it does mean you must try what i said at the beginning, “we are reading the first verse of the first chapter of a book, whose pages are infinite”.the past has we do will change the future is in front of that what we give to the world, the world will give to from today on, let’s be the owners of ourselves, and speak out “we are the world, we are the future.”世界是我們的，未來是我們的一些人說“我們正在讀一本無窮的書中的 我們所有人都希望未來能比過去更美好，但是未來能自己變得更好。不要因?yàn)榻Y(jié)束而哭泣，微笑吧，為你的曾經(jīng)擁有。從過去來看，生活是艱苦的，但我們是更堅(jiān)強(qiáng)。我們知道我們不能選擇感覺，但是我們能選擇和它相關(guān)的東西。失敗并不意味著你不擁有成功，它只意味著你應(yīng)該用另一種方式去做這件事。失敗并不意味著你應(yīng)該放棄，只意味著你應(yīng)該更加努力。正如我在前面所說的“我們正在讀一本無窮的書中的 friends was drowned in this river.”the little horse is very he decides to go home and ask his old horse asks, “why do you take the wheat back what39。s wrong with you my child.”the little horse answers sadly, “there is a river in front of cow said it was not the little squirrel said it was shall i do ”the old horse says, “my child, you should try to cr(本文 來自好)oss the river by you do not try, how do you know the river is deep or not ”the little horse carries the wheat and returns to the last, he succeeds in crossing the , he knows how deep the river ：小馬過河農(nóng)場里有一只老馬和一只小馬，一天老馬叫小馬把麥子送到磨房。小馬很開心，扛起了小麥就跑向了磨房?？捎幸粭l河擋住了去路，他停了下來不知如何是好，正在這時(shí)，奶牛大嬸過來了。小馬問：“奶牛大嬸，請告訴我，我能趟過這條河嗎？” 奶牛大嬸答道：“不深，你能過去?！闭?dāng)小馬開始過河時(shí)，一只小松鼠朝他大喊：“小馬，不要過河，你會淹死的。昨天我的一位朋友就在這河淹死了。”小馬非常害怕，最后決定回家問問媽媽。老馬問：“你為什么又把小麥扛回來了？你怎么了？我的孩子?！毙∷墒笪鼗卮穑骸坝幸粭l