【正文】 ter I deferred to law school for the second sat down and said I don’t think you should go to law school at all, I don’t think you want to go to law think you should because you told your parents you would many years noted that he had never once heard me talk about the law with any know how hard it can be to be honest with each other, even your closest friends, even when they’re about to make serious mistakes, but I bet sitting here today, you know your closest friends’ strength, weeknesses, what cliff they might drive off, and I bet for the most part you’ve never told them, and they never them for the truth because it will help when the answer honestly, you know that that’s what makes them real for feedback is a really important habit to get into, as you leave the structure of the school calendar and exams and grades many jobs if you want to know how you’re doing, if you’re going to have to ask and then you’re gonna have to listen without getting it from me, listening to criticism is never fun, but it’s the only way we can few years ago, Mark Zuckerberg decided he wanted to learn Chinese, and in order to practice he started trying to have work meetings with some of Facebook colleagues who are native you would think his very limited language skills would keep these conversations from being day he asked a woman who was there, how it was going, how did you choose the answered with a long and pretty plicated he said simpler spoke went back and forth a couple of she is blurted out in frustration, my manager is he often the truth is sacrificed to conflict avoidance, or by the time we speak the truth ,we’ve used so many caveats and preambles that the message totally gets I ask you to ask each other for the truth and other people: can you list it in simple and clear language? And when you speak your truth, can you use simple and clear language? As hard as it is to be honest with orther can be even more difficult to be honest with years after I had children, I would say pretty often I don’t feel guilty working even when no one might say, sherly, how’s your day today? And I would say, great I don’t feel guilty do I need a sweater? Yes ,it’s unpredictably freezing and I don’t feel guilty was kinda like a parrot with one day on the treadmill, I was reading this article on Sociology how people don’t start out lying to other people, they start out lying to themselves, and the things we repeat most frequently are often those the sweat was pouring down my started wondering what do I repeat pretty frequently, and I realized I feel guilty then did a lot of research, and I spent an entire year with my dear friend Neil Scovell writing a book talking about how I was thinking and feeling., and I’m so grateful that so many women around the world connected to book of course was called Fify Shades of can see a lot of you connected to it as have even more work to do in being honest about the world we live don’t always see the hard truths, and once we see them, we don’t always have the courage to speak my classmates and I were in college, we thought that fight for gender equally was one that was , most of the leaders in every industry were men, but we thought changing that was just a matter of library right over there, one generation before us didn’t let women through its by the time we sat in your seat, everything was equal, Harvard and Radcliffe was fully didn’t need feminism because we were already were was word was not equal then and it is not equal think nowadays, we don’t just hide ourselves from the hard truth and shut our eyes to the inequities, but we suffer from the tyranny of low the last election cycle in the united states, women won 20% of the senate seats, and all the headlines started screaming out: women take over the felt like screaming back, wait a minute % of the population getting 20% of the ’s not a ’s an a few months ago this year, a very well respected and wellknow business executives in Silicon Valley invited me to give a speech to his club on social ’ve been to this club a few months before when I have been invited for a friend’s was a beautiful building and I was wandering around looking at it, looking for the women39。s room, when a staff member informed me very firmly that the ladies39。 room was over there and I should be sure not to go up stairs because women are never allowed in this didn39。t realize I was in an allmale club until that spent the rest of the night wondering what I was doing there wondering what everyone else was doing there, wondering if any of my friends in San Francisco would invite me, a party at a club that didn39。t allow Blacks or Jews or Asians or invited to give a business speech at this club, hit me even more egregious because you couldn39。t claim that it was only social business that was done first thought was, “Really?” year after Lean In this dude thought it was a good idea to invite me to give a speech to his literal allboys he wasn39。t alone, there is an entire mittee of well respected businessman who joined him in issuing this kind paraphrase Groucho Marx, and don39。t worry, I won39。t try to do the voice I don39。t want to speak in any club that won39。t have me as a I said no,and I did it in a way I probably wouldn39。t have even 5 years wrote a long and passionate , arguing that they should change their thanked me for my prompt response and wrote that perhaps things will eventually expectations are too needs to bee need to see the truth and speak the tolerate discrimination and we pretend that opportunity is we elected an AfricanAmerican president, but racism is pervasive , there are women who run Fortune 500 panies, 5 percent to be precise, but our road there is still paved with words like pussy and bossy, while our male peers are leaders and results women have to prove that they39。re not risk being branded fiery hot group of AsianAmerican women and men in Facebook wore pins one day that said I may