【正文】 considered as the standard one, while women’s language was confirmed as the deviated one (Net. 1). Since the middle of 1960s, as a result of the development of feminist social movement and the growth of sociolinguistics, language and gender has caught many western scholars’ attention, such as the linguists, psycholinguists and sociolinguists. Generally speaking, the research in this period has been analyzed systematically. As a branch of discourse research, though language and gender has attracted much attention and been widely discussed by scholars, it is still relatively new. And most of the available analysis is based on the patterns of discourse within American society. In addition, how to explain speech differences between men and women remains a question in dispute among sociolinguists (王娟, 2004). And it is very helpful to follow the available research to do further study on other intergender differences in a new aspect in other countries.The body of the paper includes four parts. Part two reviews the definition of discourse and the definition and historical perspective of gender discourse. Part three displays the differences in conversations. Then the author analyzes the causes of intergender differences. Part five offers some advice to avoid mismunication. 2. Review of discourse and gender discourse The definition of discourse There are three somewhat different ways to define the word “discourse” by Scollon. “In the most technically narrow definition of the word, the study of grammatical and other relationships between sentences.A more general use of the word has been made to study broader functional uses of language in social contexts. The broadest concept of discourse, which is the study of the whole system of munication with a shared language or jargon, with particular ways in which people learn what they need to know to bee members, with a particular ideological position, and with quite specific forms of interpersonal relationships among members of those groups”(2000: 95). The definition of gender discourseGender discourse is one of the four most mon discourse systems, which takes the broadest concept of discourse. It mainly focuses on the discourse characters between the male and the female. Gender discourse is an involuntary discourse system, which is formed by gender such characteristic, in which individual members have relatively little choice about whether or not they share in the characteristics (see Scollon, 2000:166). When and where someone is born is not what one can choose. Then he/she is determined sexual characteristics and given gender expectations (see Scollon, 2000:167), which gives obvious and great influences to their discourse. Gender discourse studies in historical perspectiveIt was not until the 20th century that much attention was paid to the study of gender discourse. At the beginning of the 20th century, F. Mauthner and Otto Jesperson began to observe European languages of gender by considering the function of gender of the local language in Southeast Asia (趙蓉暉, 2002). F. Mauthner pointed out that the intergender differences were determined by social and historical reasons. “Otto Jespersen, a Danish professor of English language, included a whole chapter in his influential book Language: Its Nature, Development and Origin, discussing the characteristics of women39。s speech (Coates, 1993). Her 1975 book: Language and Women39。s ways of talking are described positively as forceful, efficient, blunt, authoritative, serious, effective, sparing, and masterful (Kramer 1977, 151). Many proverbs also prove the view of women39。s tongues are like lambs’ tailsthey are never still. (English proverb) Fox are all tail, and women are all tongue. (Coates 1998: 461)All the Daddies on the bus go read, read, read.... All the Mummies on the bus go chatter, chatter, chatter. (British children39。s questionasking as an indication of their insecurity, which origins deeply form the social status and power. But Fishman prefers to explain it in linguistic terms. “Women use questions as part of a general strategy for conversational maintenance” (劉衛(wèi)紅, 2001). Swearing amp。s old highschool friend called him to say he39。s behavior and thoughts, which will continue to give direct effects to intergender discourse for a long time. 5. Improving intergender munication Increase shared knowledgeIntergender munication is a kind of intercultural munication, which has long historical origins and has been affected by great farreaching elements. If two people have very similar histories, backgrounds, and experiences, their munication works better because of the inferences each makes and bases on mon experience and knowledge (劉衛(wèi)紅, 2001). The more similar knowledge about the world the participants share, the better the munication works.As a member in the system, man adopts the values of independence, status, exclusion, information, contest and problem solving, while woman with the values of intimacy, relationship, inclusion and problem sharing. So both sexes need to understand the inherent differences in their munication style so that they don’t expect the impossible (Tannen, 1990a). First the male and the female should make clear distinction between the different values in mind. Women can keep on using the “trouble talking” when they municate with their girlfriends. “Trying to turn a man into a woman will usually fail because men, in general, don’t create feelings of closeness in that way”(Tannan, 1990a: 210). Man should realize that when woman is talking, she is attempting to establish close relationship, but not tending to share the same status with him (Net 1). Let her know more about you, which shows that you indeed love her and want to get close to her.Both sexes should try to show more of themselves to their partners in the way they can understand (Coates, 1993). And try to gain the share knowledge as much as possible. In this way, int