【正文】 a: How many did you want? I’m getting a hundred.Ross: A hundred?! Well, II guess I’ll take a—Mona, uh…II’m not sure about the whole uh, card thing.Mona: Really? Why not?Ross: Sending out a holiday card, together, I mean I just don’t know if we’re really quite there yet.Mona: Oh y’know, I didn’t think of it that way. You’re right. You’re right. So, can I ask you a question? Ross: Yeah.Mona: Where are we?Ross: Huh.Mona: Y’know, like where are we? Where is this relationship going?Ross: Hmm…Mona: I mean I love spending time with you, y’know I just—I hope we’re moving forward. I mean, we should probably talk about that. Don’t you think?(Pause.)Ross: Let’s do the card!Mona: What?Ross: The card! I think we’re there!Mona: Okay. I—But I think we should still have this conversation.Ross: Really?! I mean, even with the card?[Scene: Rachel’s Doctor’s Office, she is waiting for her doctor as a nurse enters.]Nurse: Hi!Rachel: Hi!Nurse: Just so you know, Dr. Long can’t be here today, she was called to the hospital, so Dr. Schiff will be seeing you.Rachel: Oh, okay. Hey, can I ask you a question? Was it me, oror was the guy who took my blood sample really cute? Y’know who I’m talking about, bald haircut, hairy fingers… (Stops when she realizes it was her.)Dr. Schiff: (entering) Hi Rachel? I’m Dr. Schiff. (By the way, he’s an attractive man.)Rachel: Yes, you are.Dr. Schiff: So, how’s it going?Rachel: Oh, really, really good. But enough about me, e on! Wherewhere are you from? What do you do?Dr. Schiff: I’m a doctor.Rachel: Right! Right! II actually meant in your spare time, do you cook? Do you ski? Or do you just hang out with your wife or girlfriend?Dr. Schiff: Uh, I don’t have a wife or girlfriend, but I do like to ski.Rachel: Oh, I love to ski! How amazing is this?!Dr. Schiff: So, are you experiencing any disfort?Rachel: No. I’m very fortable.Dr. Schiff: Any painful gas?Rachel: No! Shoot, Dr. Schiff what kind of question is that?!Dr. Schiff: Okay then, would you like to lie down on the table?Rachel: Well would you like me to lie down on the table?Dr. Schiff: I’m sorry, is there something going on here?Rachel: Do you feel it too?[Scene: Central Perk, Monica and Phoebe are there as Rachel enters.]Rachel: Hi.Phoebe: Oh hey! So, how did your doctor’s appointment go?Rachel: Well, let’s see. Uh, they gave me cute doctor today and in the middle of the exam I put my pinky in his chin dimple.Phoebe: Oh my God.Monica: Why did you do that?Phoebe: Okay, remember that little problem I was having during my forth month of pregnancy?Monica: Oh yeah, the Evander Holyfield phase. Oh man you were so hard up you practically came on to me.Phoebe: You wish.Monica: Hey, I could’ve had you if I wanted you.Phoebe: Oh yeah? Come and get it.Rachel: Okay, even this is turning me on!Ross: (entering) Hey!Rachel: Oh hey! Hey Ross! Hey how’s it, how’s it going with you and Mona? Are you guys still together?Ross: Oh yeah, yeah we’re moving forward. You’ll be getting our card!Monica: You and Mona are doing a holiday card together?Ross: Yeah, we’re not just doing a card! Y’know, sheshe also wants to have the conversation about where the relationship is going.Phoebe: Ugh! Women!Ross: I know! I know! Why do you guys need to have this conversation?! Huh? I mean no selfrespecting man would ask a woman, So, where is this going?Rachel: Uh Ross? You asked me that.Ross: Hey! You were a closed book! Okay? I’m not a mind reader! Besides, I hate those conversations. I’m horrible at them. Really! Maybemaybe I need kind of a gesture. Y’know, something that says we’re moving forward without having to talk about it.Monica: Like asking her to move in with you?Ross: Smaller than that.Monica: Making her a mixed tape?Ross: Uh, bigger than that.Phoebe: Give her a key to your apartment.Ross: Whoahello! We were closer with the mixed tape.Monica: All right. Have you said, I love you? You could say, I love you.Ross: Yeah II don’tI don’t think I’m quite there yet, but I could say I looove spending time with you.Phoebe: No, we hate that.Monica: That is a slap in the face.Ross: Forget it. II—Y’know what? I’ll just have the conversation. I’ll just say I like things the way they are, and hope for the best. What do you think Rach?Rachel: I think, if it was a little colder in here I could see your nipples through that sweater.[Scene: Chandler’s Office, Doug is entering.]Doug: Bing! We’re all set for tonight, 8 o’clock.Chandler: Oh uh, as it turns out, we can’t do it. Monica has to work.Doug: Oh, my exwife didn’t work, unless you call turning into her mother work. Fine. Tomorrow night then.Chandler: Oh uh well tomorrow’s no good for her either.