【正文】 at they could be saved from what he knew to be a life of indignity and poverty?
　　i have begun to see that even my fatheramp。t understand it or know how to deal with it. but he did know doughnuts.
　　and when i allow the floodgates to open up, there are other memories that e rushing back, memories of other tiny gestures, however imperfect, that showed that he did what he could. so tonight, rather than focusing on what my father didnamp。t want to ruin the magic for fear that he would never do it again. my father had to leave them secretly at night, so as no one might catch him with his guard down. he was scared of human emotion, he didnamp。 just the doughnuts. it was like santa claus.
　　sometimes i would think about staying up late at night, so i could see him leave them there, but just like with santa claus, i didnamp。 no note, no explanation amp。 we all did. my favorite food was glazed doughnuts and my father knew that. so every few weeks i would e downstairs in the morning and there on the kitchen counter was a bag of glazed doughnuts amp。s just being human.
　　and when i think about this, of how i hope that my children will not judge me unkindly, and will forgive my shortings, i am forced to think of my own father and despite my earlier denials, i am forced to admit that me must have loved me. he did love me, and i know that.
　　there were little things that showed it. when i was a kid i had a real sweet tooth amp。s child, and we know that despite the very best of plans and efforts, mistakes will always occur. thatamp。ve made, and will certainly continue to make, in raising them. for we have all been someoneamp。
　　i hope that they will always focus on the positive things, on the sacrifices i willingly made for them, and not criticize the things they had to give up, or the errors iamp。our daddy did the best he could, given the unique circumstances that he faced. he may not have been perfect, but he was a warm and decent man, who tried to give us all the love in the world.amp。t we given an average childhood like all the other kids, they might ask? and at that moment i pray that my children will give me the benefit of the doubt. that they will say to themselves: amp。t always go to a park or a movie with me.
　　so what if they grow older and resent me, and how my choices impacted their youth? why werenamp。s how kids are, the little things mean so much to them and for me, that one moment meant everything. i only experienced it that one time, but it made me feel really good, about him and the world.
　　but now i am a father myself, and one day i was thinking about my own children, prince and paris and how i wanted them to think of me when they grow up. to be sure, i would like them to remember how i always wanted them with me wherever i went, how i always tried to put them before everything else. but there are also challenges in their lives. because my kids are stalked by paparazzi, they canamp。t miss a step.
　　but what i really wanted was a dad. i wanted a father who showed me love. and my father never did that. he never said i love you while looking me straight in the eye, he never played a game with me. he never gave me a piggyback ride, he never threw a pillow at me, or a water balloon.
　　but i remember once when i was about four years old, there was a little carnival and he picked me up and put me on a pony. it was a tiny gesture, probably something he forgot five minutes later. but because of that moment i have this special place in my heart for him. because thatamp。t surprised to hear that i did not have an idyllic childhood. the strain and tension that exists in my relationship with my own father is well documented. my father is a tough man and he pushed my brothers and me hard, from the earliest age, to be the best performers we could be.
　　he had great difficulty showing affection. he never really told me he loved me. and he never really plimented me either. if i did a great show, he would tell me it was a good show. and if i did an ok show, he told me it was a lousy show.
　　he seemed intent, above all else, on making us a mercial success. and at that he was more than adept. my father was a managerial genius and my brothers and i owe our professional success, in no small measure, to the forceful way that he pushed us. he trained me as a showman and under his guidance i couldnamp。 to forgive our parents, if we felt neglected. forgive them and teach them how to love again.
　　you probably werenamp。 beginning with all of us here tonight amp。s children amp。m calling upon all the worldamp。s why iamp。t want any of us to make this mistake. thatamp。t care less about their parents. left to their own devices, they cherish their independence. they have moved on and have left their parents behind.
　　then there are the far worse cases of children who harbor animosity and resentment toward their parents, so that any overture that their parents might undertake would be thrown forcefully back in their face.
　　tonight, i donamp。t know with what. but whatever it was, it was enough to suck the spirit right out of that dog.
　　a lot of kids today are hurt puppies who have weaned themselves off the need for love. they couldnamp。t she much of a guard dog, she was such a scared and nervous thing that it is a wonder she did not pass out every time a truck rumbled by, or a thundersto