【正文】 t nothin39。re making this up. No, look. There he is, and there39。s Bloodnut, the Flatulent. You can guess what he39。s Throwback, the only e to ever spit over three wheat fields. Right. Yeah. Hey, can you tell my future from these stars? The stars don39。t think this is fit for a princess. No, no, it39。m scarier than anything we39。s robbers in the woods. Whoa! Time out, Shrek! Camping39。t we stop to make camp? No, that39。ll let you do the measuring when you see him tomorrow. Tomorrow? It39。re just jealous you can never measure up to a great ruler like Lord Farquaad. Yeah, well, maybe you39。s stature are in short supply. {Laughs} I don39。s beautiful! And what of my groomtobe? Lord Farquaad? What39。s not your true love. Everyone knowest what happens when you find your Hey! {Sighs} The sooner we get to DuLoc the better. You39。t hurt, but you don39。s a woman that digs you, right, but you don39。m right behind ya. Put me down, or you will suffer the consequences! This is not dignified! Put me down! Okay, so here39。t dare. Put me down! Ya in39。s messenger boy, all right? I39。ll be waiting for him right here. Hey! I39。re not making my job any easier. I39。re not supposed to be an e. {Sighs} Princess, I was sent to rescue you by Lord Farquaad, okay? He is the one who wants to marry you. Then why didn39。m not going to. Take ot off. No! Now! Okay! Easy. As you mand. Your Highness. You You39。re my rescuer. Now Now remove your helmet. Look. I really don39。s just say I39。s destiny. Oh, you must know how it goes. A princess locked in a tower and beset by a dragon is rescued by a brave knight, and then they share true love39。t in the job description. Maybe it39。t 39。m a steed. The battle is won. You may remove your helmet, good Sir Knight. Uh, no. Why not? I have helmet hair. Please. I would39。re... a little unorthodox I39。re You39。ll take care of the dragon. {Fchoing} Run! {Gasping} {Screaming} {Roaring} {Screams} {Roars} {Panting, sighs} {Whimpers} {Roars} You did it! You rescued me! You39。s getting him to shut up that39。re gonna tear it off. I don39。s my tail! That39。d really love to stay, but Don39。s just back up a little and take this one step at a time. We really should get to know each other first as friends or pen pals. I39。m not emotionally ready for a mitment of, uh, this Magnitude really is the word I39。s healthy to get to know someone over a long perriod of time. Just call me oldfashioned. {Laughs} I don39。s not the point. Oh! Wait. Where are you going? The next39。t right! You were meant to charge in, sword drawn, banner flying. That39。t slay the dragon? It39。t you? Mmhmm. {Screams, grunts} But we have to savor this moment! You could recite an epic poem for me. A ballad? A son! A limerick? Or something! I don39。s no time. Hey, wait. What are you doing? You should sweep me off my feet out yonder window and down a rope onto your valiant steed. You39。s nice. Now let39。d work out if you39。m an asthmatic, and I don39。d really love to stay, but you know, I39。re just reeking of feminine beauty. What39。re a girl dragon! Oh, sure! I mean, of course you39。cause that is one dazzling smile you got there. Do I detect a hint of minty freshness? And you know what else? You39。d step all over it. Well, at least we know where the princess is, but where39。m the stair master. I39。m gonna take drastic steps. Kick it to the curb. Don39。re goin39。ll whip their butt too. Those stairs won39。ll handle the stairs. I39。 for the princess. The princess will be up the stairs in the highest room in the tallest tower. What makes you think she39。re a little scared. I sure as heck ain39。t mean you39。 afraid. Fear39。s nothin39。 about the dragon, Shrek. {Water dripping, wind howling} You afraid? No. But Shh. Oh, good. Me neither. {Gasps} 39。ll do, Donkey. That39。m gonna die. Shrek, I39。 it. I39。m sorry. Do what? Oh, this? Yes, that! Yes? Yes, do it. Okay. {Screams} No, Shrek! No! Stop it! You said do it! I39。s have a dance then, shall me? Don39。re already halfway. But I know that half is safe! Okay, fine. I don39。 down! Oh, God, I can39。t look down. {Gasps} Shrek! I39。t look down. Don39。t look down. Okay, don39。m right here beside ya, okay? For emotional support., we39。re afraid of heights. I39。t have sleeves. You know what I mean. You can39。s big enough, but look at the location. {Laughing} Uh, Shrek? Uh, remember when you said es have layers? Oh, aye. Well, I have a bit of a confession to make. Donkeys don39。t no brimstone. It didn39。t be talking about it39。d be dead. {Sniffs} It39。m on my way I39。m on my way from misery to happiness today Uhhuh,uhhuh, uhhuh, uhhuh And everything that you receive up yonder Is what you give to me the day I wander I39。m making a mess. Just the word parfait make me start slobbering. I39。s get some parfait, they say, No, I don39。 little white hairs. No! Layers! Onions have layers. Orges have layers! Onions have layers. You get it? We both have layers. {Sighs} Oh, you both have layers. Oh. {Sniffs} You know, not everybody likes onions. Cake! Everybody loves cakes! Cakes have layers. I don39。t you just pull some of that e stuff on him? Throttle him, lay siege to his fortress, grinds his bones to make your bread, the whole e trip. Oh, I know what. Maybe I could have decapitated an entire village and put their heads on a pike, gotten a knife, cut open their spleen and drink their fluids. Does that sound good to you? Uh, no, not really, no. For your information, there39。t talk. I don39。t have because he filled it full of freaks in the first place. Is that about right? Maybe there39。ll give you your swamp back. Exactly the way it was? Down to the last slimecovered toadstool. And the squat