黃西美國記者年會上的脫口秀演講稿-wenkub.com
2025-05-27 01:14 本頁面
【正文】 OMG和LOL都是短信流行用語, OMG是Oh My God, LOL是Laugh Out Loud）。如果我當選，我會選擇“發(fā)短信”。 and text our enemies when they are driving.And I39。我還有解決全球變暖的特效措施。And I have a quick solution for global warming. I will switch from Fahrenheit to Celsius.所以如果我當選，我會找出一種治愈自然死亡的療法。 But you won39。所以必須讓兩個人做一個人能做的事，就好像總統(tǒng)與副總統(tǒng)，又或者是Olsen姐妹（她們是雙胞胎，一起演真人秀，一起設(shè)計服裝）。 So, two people will have to do the work of one, just like the president and the vice president,但我過去對婚姻是非?？謶值?。 You see I39。If elected, I will make same sex marriage not only legal, but required!什么，你也是？好吧。You may be saying, hi, what would be your campaign slogan? You see, I spent 10 years in the past decade.這給了我很大的希望。好吧，我多解釋一下。and I started to think maybe I should run for president myself.這是他們的口號。 That was their slogan.這是真的，因為我們每年會贏世界職業(yè)棒球大賽（只有美國、加拿大的球隊參加。s true! cause we won the World Series every year!非常感謝！ there are CSPAN2 and CSPAN3.And tonight is my first time on CSPAN, which is a channel I obvious always watch when I couldn39。我覺得新聞業(yè)是雙關(guān)語最后的陣地了。m a neighsayer(naysayer). Because I used to write for the campus newspaper.怎么可能有比這更操蛋的事情。 Well, actually, I39。（Steve是專攻政治人物的政治評論家、主持人，總統(tǒng)總是拿他沒辦法）為了今晚的節(jié)目我也準備了好幾個月了。So, I, to be honest, was really honored to be here tonight, and I have prepared for months eh, for tonight show, and I showed the White House my jokes about President Obama, and that is why he decided not to e.今天見到你了，我覺得書（比本人）要好的多（然后鏡頭就給了副總統(tǒng)，副總統(tǒng)笑的哈開心），他們應該請布拉德and today I see you. I think the book is much better.（bill在英文里有議案的意思，這里諷刺這名州長極力反對Obama的醫(yī)保改革方案。我現(xiàn)在住在麻省，我們有全面的醫(yī)療保險。I live in Massachusetts now, where we had universal healthcare then we elected Scott Brown.t have to exercise because I have health insurance.但是出生后，或多或少要取決于父母收入，才能提供你的早期教育和醫(yī)療保障。）他在這里則是說那些偷渡到美國的人，要不就是通過row a boat（劃船，和人名Roe同音）,要不就是靠游到河對岸（wade是跋涉的意思））What is Roe vs Wade?What39。And in order for me to bee a US citizen, I had to take those American history lessons,where they ask questions like: Who39。t do the thing I do best here, being ethnic.然后他問我：“爸爸，為什么我要學兩個語言呢？”我就跟他說：“兒子，一旦有
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