【正文】 I could safely say my plan was underway. I took her home and set a date for another conversation.她似乎學得很開心，而我也可以放心地說我的計劃正在穩(wěn)步推進中。我們先來看看一種叫做‘絕對判斷’的邏輯謬誤。2 But she was pretty, welloff, didn39。他可不那么聰明，而他的女友波莉也不太精明。邏輯上出現(xiàn)的問題會歪曲事實，其中有些還很普遍?！皼]有人嗎？”14 This is also a fallacy, I said. The generalization is reached too hastily. Too few instances support such a conclusion.“這也是一種邏輯謬誤，”我說，“這一結(jié)論太草率了，因為能夠支持這一結(jié)論的例證太少了?！?3 I like that idea, she said.“我喜歡這個主意，”她說。s a little premature, don39。ll go out with me. I39。再看看羅伯，一個肌肉發(fā)達的蠢材，一個有了上頓沒下頓的家伙?！蓖瑯樱@種偏差也會讓我們將自己的成功歸功于自身素質(zhì)而不是運氣，而將別人的成功僅僅看作是運氣使然。光靠自信是無法進行準確預測的，只有在切實證據(jù)的基礎上，自信才能發(fā)揮最大的作用。14 While there are still more biases, the key to avoiding them remains the same: When a decision matters, it is best to rely on watertight logic and a careful examination of the evidence and to remain aware that what seems like good intuition is always subject to errors of judgment.盡管還有其他更多的偏差，避免這些偏差的關鍵其實都一樣：當涉及重要決策時，最好是依靠嚴密的邏輯并仔細審查證據(jù)；同時，要保持警惕，那些看上去良好的直覺總是很容易導致判斷失誤。s done all he can.我相信，大多數(shù)男性都不會對自己的相貌感到過分自傲。要達到這樣的標準是很荒唐的，尤其是當我們想想那種洋娃娃的腰圍尺寸，就知道其相對尺寸對任何一個活人來說都是不可企及的。re not going to get a group of middleaged men to plaster cosmetics to themselves under the instruction of Brad Pitt in hopes of looking more like him. Men don39。t say she looks bad without receiving immediate and welldeserved outrage. But you also can39。2 Attaining the highest degree of your beauty is not about looking good during social interaction, or physiological perfection, and you can39。盡管我們的生活不如虛幻的電影故事中描述的愛情生活那樣，它卻很美好。t going to make their lives, their bodies, or their mental state much better. In fact, they often hamper happiness by distracting from the things that lead to real inner beauty. Life is not about maintaining some young and stylish outward costume to hide behind. It39。t agree with, through interwoven natural and unnatural disasters that take our loved ones and possessions, through fads and fancies that are often unhealthy. From each event, we learn, we stretch, we sometimes fracture, we process the emotional oute, and we move on. These life events are the soul39。它成了一種真實的存在，使一個人的精神像圣人那樣光彩四溢。我們一起勤奮努力，患難與共，盡力完善自我，和家人及朋友緊密相處，努力用我們的個人道德和志向去照亮世界。由于無法獲得大屏幕上所看到的那種生活，他們感到力不從心、絕望無助，并因嫉妒而陷于沮喪。m not about to replace him with the socalled esthetic perfection.能有幸每天愛著理查德，我感到很高興。t usually fulfill their promise. Besides, beautiful people are not automatically happy people.當今，過度追求相貌修整的風氣無比盛行，太多的人沉迷于肉毒桿菌注射的宣講會和真人秀，整容手術也日趨流行。10 By participating in this system of extreme conformity, women are actually opening themselves up to the scrutiny of other women, the only ones qualified to judge their efforts. What is the real benefit of working this hard to appease men who don39?？墒菍θ魏我粋€理智的旁觀者來說，無論她們?nèi)绾握J真地使用這些產(chǎn)品，她們都不可能擁有辛迪那樣的面容或膚色。6 Why do women consider their looks so deficient? This chronic insecurity isn39。t bother them。如果他們多次連續(xù)拉動拉桿而沒有一次成功，他們可能會決定最好還是繼續(xù)把錢投入老虎機，否則他們之前投入的成本就悉數(shù)浪費了。在一個理想的世界，當我們百分之百地確信某件事時，我們就百分之百地正確；當我們百分之八十地確信某件事時，我們就百分之八十地正確，以此類推。 I lost mine because of the recession. It also leads us to attribute our own success to our qualifications, discounting luck, while seeing others39。41 I39。d learned her lessons too well. A few more false steps would be my doom. I decided to change tactics and try flattery instead.我又笑了笑，不過不覺得那么有趣了，同時還不能表露出我害怕她學得太好了。t discuss fallacies.“波莉，”當我們又一次坐在那棵橡樹下的時候我對她說，“今晚我們不討論邏輯謬誤了。這個人根本沒有回答老板的問題，而只是在博取老板的同情，這就是‘文不對題’。t speak French. Rob can39。5 Logic.“邏輯學。d give me his girl in exchange for my jacket. He wasn39。3 Radiant she was already. I could dispense her enough pearls of wisdom to make her wellspoken.“光彩照人”，她已經(jīng)是了?！?0 She nodded in agreement.她點頭表示贊同。18 Listen closely, I said. A man applies for a job. When the boss asks him what his qualifications are, he says he has six children to feed.“聽好了，”我說，“有個人去申請工作，當老板問他有什么應聘資格時，他說他有六個孩子要撫養(yǎng)。醫(yī)生們不是在參加考試以檢查他們學到了多少，而學生卻是。“親愛的，”我開口說，同時寬容地拍了拍她的手，“五次約會已經(jīng)夠多了，畢竟你不需要吃掉整個蛋糕才知道它是不是好吃。t take them so literally. I mean this is all academic. You know the things you learn in school don39。這一價值體系所隱含的前提是，聰明人借助自己豐富的學識會作出更高明的決定。這種偏差包含兩部分：第一，我們往往只收集且只依賴對我們的已有觀點起支持作用的信息；第二，我們回避或否認那些與自己之前所持的假設相左的信息。同樣，人們也可能因懼怕遭到人身侵犯或者強暴而不敢再在晚上出門。相信我，這是最簡單的方法。對于一位男性來說，如果能花四分鐘刮刮胡子，結(jié)束之后再把粘到頭發(fā)上的剃須膏擦凈，又沒有出血太厲害，他就覺得自己已經(jīng)盡心盡力了。 she stressed how important it was to adhere to the guidelines, like applying products via the tips of their fingers to protect elasticity. All the women dutifully did this, even though it was obvious to any rational observer that, no matter how carefully they applied these products, they would never have Cindy Crawford39。與女性不同，男性的外貌美不是社會所關注的唯一焦點。re not qualified to voice a subjective opinion on anybody39。美是一個成長的過程，是一種通過意識和學習而達到的自我改造。4 I work as a psychotherapist, and clients e to my office every day scarred with emotional pain because their lives aren39。 songs in spring — stretches it, making me feel humble and majestic, all at the same time. Human relationships bruise, collide and fort, teaching me maturity and passion. Love urges my soul to blossom and glow, affection elicits feelings of eternity, and so I learn to accept others as they are.我所知道的唯一的精神升華的途徑就是通過情感。但從每一例這樣的事件中，我們都不斷地學習、成長。這些人生經(jīng)歷是對我們心靈的歷練。人際關系中的摩擦、沖突和安慰使我變得成熟并充滿激情。t attain life as they see it on the big screen. It helps when I preface our sessions with the mention that tens of thousands of dollars go into every second of media they see, that stars have dozens of people devoted exclusively to making them look good (even when they39。它是一個情感和精神的旅程，需要人有信念才能獲得，而且這種信念的動力來自慷慨和充滿愛心的善良。但是，你也不能慷慨地大放空洞之詞，贊美她的鞋子和裙子是多么相配，因為她知道你是在說謊。他們也許會對布拉德說：“是嗎？那么帥哥，你對草坪維護又知道多少？”9 Of course women argue that they bee obsessed with appearance as a reaction to pressure from men. The truth is that most men think beauty is more than just lipstick and perfume and take no notice of these extra details. I have never once, in more than 40 years of listening to men talk about women, heard a man say, She had gorgeous fingernails! To most men, little things like fingernails are a