【正文】 董事會或許不太完善，校園也可能不太安全，但永遠不要放棄努力。我希望你們也能學會感激，不僅是在好日子里感激，比方說今天，在艱難的日子里更要感激，到那時感激之情對你們的幫助更大。你們畢業(yè)了，以后能像生命只剩下11天一樣去生活嗎？我的意思不是讓你們拋下一切，每天都去聚會狂歡，當然今晚例外?！蔽艺f。如果我當時就能明白不要過分解讀，沒必要一時難過就否定一切，當時就不會那么焦慮。跟他們比我不用擔心經(jīng)濟來源，能抽出時間照顧孩子，而且我有一份很好的工作。明白這三條原則之后，我才慢慢接受不管怎樣都救不了他這個事實。問題不是這些事情會不會發(fā)生，它們遲早都會來的。他去世后好幾個月里，我經(jīng)常悲傷得無法自已，內(nèi)心只覺得一片無盡的空虛四處蔓延，占據(jù)了五臟六腑，我無力思考，甚至感覺像要窒息。今天應(yīng)該沉思。上世紀60年代，你們的前輩們倡導了言論自由運動。 it seemed like the way to recover was to try to find positive thoughts. “Worse?” I said. “Are you kidding me? How could things be worse?” His answer cut straight through me: “Dave could have had that same cardiac arrhythmia while he was driving your children.” Wow. The moment he said it, I was overwhelmingly grateful that the rest of my family was alive and healthy. That gratitude overtook some of the grief.Finding gratitude and appreciation is key to resilience. People who take the time to list things they are grateful for are happier and healthier. It turns out that counting your blessings can actually increase your blessings. My New Year’s resolution this year is to write down three moments of joy before I go to bed each night. This simple practice has changed my life. Because no matter what happens each day, I go to sleep thinking of something cheerful. Try it. Start tonight when you have so many fun moments to list— although maybe do it before you hit Kip’s and can still remember what they are.Last month, eleven days before the anniversary of Dave’s death, I broke down crying to a friend of mine. We were sitting—of all places—on a bathroom floor. I said: “Eleven days. One year ago, he had eleven days left. And we had no idea.” We looked at each other through tears, and asked how we would live if we knew we had eleven days left.As you graduate, can you ask yourselves to live as if you had eleven days left? I don’t mean blow everything off and party all the time— although tonight is an exception. I mean live with the understanding of how precious every single day would be. How precious every day actually is.A few years ago, my mom had to have her hip replaced. When she was younger, she always walked without pain. But as her hip disintegrated, each step became painful. Now, even years after her operation, she is grateful for every step she takes without pain—something that never would have occurred to her before.As I stand here today, a year after the worst day of my life, two things are true. I have a huge reservoir of sadness that is with me always—right here where I can touch it. I never knew I could cry so often—or so much.But I am also aware that I am walking without pain. For the first time, I am grateful for each breath in and out—grateful for the gift of life itself. I used to celebrate my every five years and friends’ birthdays sometimes. Now I celebrate always. I used to go to sleep worrying about all the things I messed up that day—and trust me that list was often quite long. Now I try really hard to focus on each day’s moments of joy.It is the greatest irony of my life that losing my husban d helped me find deeper gratitude—gratitude for the kindness of my friends, the love of my family, the laughter of my children. My hope for you is that you can find that gratitude—not just on the good days, like today, but on the hard ones, when you will really need it.There are so many moments of joy ahead of you. That trip you always wanted to take. A first kiss with someone youreally like. The day you get a job doing something you truly believe in. Beating Stanford. (Go Bears!) All of these things will happen to you. Enjoy each and every one.I hope that you live your life—each precious day of it—with joy and meaning. I hope that you walk without pain—and that you are grateful for each step.And when the challenges e, I hope you remember that anchored deep within you is the ability to learn and grow. You are not born with a fixed amount of resilience. Like a muscle, you can build it up, draw on it when you need it. In that process you will figure out who you really are—and you just might bee the very best version of yourself.Class of 2016, as you leave Berkeley, build resilience.Build resilience in yourselves. When tragedy or disappointment strike, know that you have the ability to get through absolutely