【正文】 y upbringing in the home is naturally affected both by the cultural pattern of the munity and by the parents’ capabilities and their aims and depends not only on upbringing and education but also on the innate abilities of the child. Wild differences of innate intelligence and temperament exist even in children of the same family.Parents can ascertain what is normal in physical, mental and social development, by referring to some of the many books based on scientific knowledge in these areas, or less reliably, since the sample is smaller, by paring notes with friends and relatives who have children.Intelligent parents, however, realize that the particular setting of each family is unique, and there can be no rigid general rules. They use general information only as a guide in making decisions and solving problems. For example, they will need specific suggestions for problems such as speech defects or backwardness in learning to walk or control of bodily functions. In the more general sense, though, problems of upbringing are recognized to be problems of relationships within the individual family, the first necessity being a secure emotional background with parents who are united in their attitude to their children.All parents have to solve the problems of freedom and discipline. The younger the child, the more readily the mother give in to his demands to avoid disappointing him. She knows that if his energies are not given an outlet, her child’s continuing development may be warped. An example of this is the young child’s need to play with the mud and sand and water. A child must be allowed to enjoy this “messy” but tactile stage of discovery before he is ready to go on to the less physical pleasures of toys and books. Similarly, throughout life, each stage depends on the satisfactory pletion of the one before.Where one stage of child development has been left out, or not sufficiently experienced, the child may have to go back and capture the experience of it. A good home makes this possiblefor example by providing the opportunity for the child to play with a clockwork car or toy railway train up to any age if he still needs to do so. This principle, in fact, underlies all psychological treatment of children in difficulties with their development, and is the basis of work in child clinics. The beginnings of discipline are in the nursery. Even the youngest baby is taught by gradual stages to wait for food, to sleep and to wake at regular intervals and so on. If the child feels the world around him is a warm and friendly one, he slowly accepts its rhythm and accustoms himself to conforming to its demands. Learning to wait for things, particularly for food, is a very important element in upbringing, and is achieved successfully only if too great demands are not made before the child can understand them.Every parent watches eagerly the child’s acquisition of each new skillthe first spoken words, the first independent steps, or the beginning of reading and writing. It is often tempting to hurry the child beyond his natural learning rate, but this can set up dangerous feelings of failure and states of anxiety in the child. This might happen at any stage. A baby might be forced to us a toilet too early, a young child might be encouraged to learn to read before he knows the meaning of the words he reads. On the other hand, though, if a child is left alone too much, or without any learning opportunities, he loses his natural zest for life and his desire to find out new things for himself.Learning together is a fruitful source of relationship between children and parents. By playing together, parents learn more about their children and children learn more from their parents. Toys and games which both parents and children can share are an important means of achieving this cooperation. Building block toys and jigsaw puzzles and crosswords are good examples.Parents vary greatly in their degree of strictness and indulgence towards their children. Some may be especially strict in money matters。 “meanwhile you must try to bear my pany.”Framton Nuttel tried to say something which would please the niece now present, without annoying the aunt that was about to e. He was supposed to be going through a cure for his nerves, but he doubted whether these polite visits to a number of total strangers would help much.“I know how it will be,” his sister had said when he was preparing to go away in to country。 perhaps she had been married and her husband was dead. But there was something of a man in the room.“Her great sorrow came just three years ago,” said the child. “That would be after your sister’s time.”“Her sorrow?” asked Framton. Somehow, in this restful country place, sorrows seemed far away.“You may wonder why we keep that window wide open on an October afternoon,” said the niece, pointing to a long window that opened like a door on to the grass outside. “It is quite warm for the time of the year,” said Framton。 they didn’t touch her.She learned from her son and, almost by accident as most great discoveries in the world seem to beshe discovered that the latest version of the hometype puters was actually patible with the one she worked with in her office at First State.The idea came to her at the end of a particularly tiring day as she tallied the day’s receipts and entered them into her desktop puter. It was foolproof! She could transfer funds from various accounts which were relatively inactive by tampering with the program. If she did it skillfully enough, she would never be caught. She would set up some fictitious accounts in other banks in the state, transfer funds, disguise herself and go to the other banks in order to withdraw the money, and then return the program to its original condition. No one would ever be able to figure out what she had done or where the money had gone. And even if they did trace it, they would never suspect her. How could they?She d