【正文】 ? Ask others who municate with you for feedback ? Aim to objectively understand your conversational habits, rather than just take on style label Learn what your habits are, understand how they function in Bain’s environment. Don’t just assume a label. How Do I Know What My Style Is? (2 of 2) 12 cmnctnstl2 Key phrases to listen for: “You just don’t seem confident” “Don’t worry about whether your ideas are perfect, just get them out there” “Your ideas are hard to follow” “You have to get to the point faster” “You take things too personally” “You need to be more visible” “You need to develop your leadership skills” There are certain performance problems that are often attributable to a clash in munication styles even though they seem to address something else. Source: Tannen, Deborah, “You Just Don’t Understand”, Ballantine Books, New York, 1990 How Do I Know If There’s a Problem? (1 of 3) 13 cmnctnstl2 Look at the situation objectively. Get feedback from managers and friends. ?Consider your experience – Are you often frustrated in your job? – Are the perceptions of others significantly different from how you see yourself? – Do people grant you less petence than you think you deserve? ?Consider feedback – Do others identify munication problems? ?Consider the possibility – Determine which, or which part of these problems could result from munication style clash How Do I Know If There’s a Problem? (2 of 3) 14 cmnctnstl2 Operating outside the group norm can have potentially significant consequences. Source: Tannen, Deborah, “You Just Don’t Understand”, Ballantine Books, New York, 1990 ?Style clashes can impact you and assessment of your performance ?Taking stylistic behaviors literally can result in disfort and frustration –challenges feel like personal attacks –opportunities to be heard don’t present themselves –your stylistic behavior may be taken literally ?Frequent pauses perceived as lack of confidence ?Perception could impact performance assessment ?Frequent pauses perceived as weak analysis How Do I Know If There’s a Problem? (3 of 3) 15 cmnctnstl2 The measure of a style is whether it works in the setting you’re in ?All styles are equally valid as styles –one is not quantifiably better than another –all styles can work well with others who share that style ?But all styles do not work equally well in every situation –your style may not work well in this setting Source: Tannen, Deborah, “You Just Don’t Understand”, Ballantine Books, New York, 1990 Is Bain39。 coach should demonstrate empathy Managing Styles: Coaching Tips (1 of 2) 42 cmnctnstl2 ?Begin by discussing concrete behaviors, not perceptions –start with, “You don’t share your ideas in caseteam meetings” –not “You seem to lack confidence” ?Next, make the connection between behavior and perception –“You may be waiting because you want to be 100% sure of what you say, “but the result is a perception that you are hesitant and uncertain.” ?Treat the situation seriously –acknowledge that changing habits is hard Managing Styles: Coaching Tips (2 of 2) 43 cmnctnstl2 ?In order to increase directness: –state ideas without qualification or hedging. ? “I agree with Maria. We need to do more interviews.” ? instead of ? “Maria has some generally interesting points. We certainly could do more interviews. Of course, it would take more time.” –state ideas without disclaimers: ? “Bill Johnson’s an expert in this area. We should talk to him.” ? instead of ? “This may just be a crazy idea, and it’s not exactly the direction we’re heading, but maybe we should think about talking to Bill Johnson . I mean, I think he’s done a lot of work in this area, but maybe I’m way off base.” The most mon style clashes at Bain are in the areas of directness and claiming ownership of ideas. Managing Styles: What to Do (1 of 3) 44 cmnctnstl2 ?To increase directness: –focus on reporting information instead of building rapport –don’t raise your voice at the end of a statement –if you are managing, make demands instead of suggestions “Complete this by Thursday” instead of “It would be great to have this by Thursday, ok?” Managing Styles: What to Do (2 of 3) 45 cmnctnstl2 ?In order to increase ownership of ideas: –speak out instead of waiting to be recognized –speak louder –speak at greater length –when interrupted, reassert your point –when challenged, don’t back down immediately persist in making your case –state your own ideas instead of only supporting others –make ments on your own instead of linking on to others Managing Styles: What to Do (3 of 3) 46 cmnctnstl2 ?Remember that learning new style behaviors is difficult, and can take time ?Suggest a plan that progresses in small steps: –identify one