【正文】 徒弟：you make me awful，now，if you kill me，I won’t give you the map，you know？ 荊軻：sorry，we e here just want to make peace，please trust me。停頓。金成武決斗時的音樂）荊軻Are you Li mochou? 李莫愁 ’m Jingke, you know, I will let you know I am the king of the killers’ Are you challenging me? 荊軻Of course!聳聳肩表示同意李莫愁 Come on!音樂起 兩人沖上前來“人在江湖漂啊，哪有不挨刀啊，一刀砍死你啊，兩刀砍死你啊。郭：該說謝謝的是我！對了，這是你三天來的酬勞，一共900元，你數(shù)數(shù)！劉：（沒接錢）郭軍，我也想回家了！郭：好啊，我這就給買票去劉：等等，郭軍，你知道我為什么跟父母鬧別扭嗎！跟你差不多，我爸媽也非讓我回去相親！郭：那你趕緊回去吧，興許你的真命天子就要降臨了劉：降你個頭！那人照片我看了，整個一小泉純一郎，ws得不行！郭軍，你也幫我一會吧，假裝我男朋友跟我回家。劉楠，我這個要求不過分吧劉：親兄弟，明算賬嘛，我同意?。ü娔靡恢淮竺P給她簽字）怎么感覺跟簽了賣身契一樣啊郭：（一把搶過合同）白紙黑字，不許耍賴啊，要不咱們法院見！劉：哼！誰怕誰啊第三幕旁白：郭軍帶著劉楠回了老家。你只要照辦，不僅免費好吃好喝，末了還有錢賺劉：切，天下有這等好事？！說吧，什么主意啊郭：（有點不好意思的，吞吞吐吐）假裝我女朋友??跟我回家過年，我給你租金，一天就行！劉：郭軍，你當我是什么人？！郭：小楠姐姐，你聽我說，我媽給我下最后通牒了，今年春節(jié)要再不帶女朋友回家，她??就要跟我斷絕母子關(guān)系！劉：郭軍，你媽那是嚇唬嚇唬你，不用當真！郭：楠姐姐，我媽那人你不知道，說到做到的那種！楠姐姐，你是天底下最善良最仁慈的女孩子了，一定不會見死不救的，楠姐姐！劉：不行不行，這要讓別人知道了，我可怎么見人啊郭：你不說我不說，誰知道啊。這xxx（所在單位）什么都好，就是女人有點少。娃兒，今年過年你要不給我?guī)€媳婦回家，以后你就別喊俺媽了（掛斷電話）郭自言自語：怎么辦，怎么辦，怎么辦（拍頭）對了，上次在網(wǎng)上見有人發(fā)帖“租個女友回家過年”，我為何不也租一個女朋友呢，但找誰呢？旁白：就在郭軍著急的時候，同事小楠剛好經(jīng)過：劉：郭軍，練鐵頭功呢？郭：噢，劉楠啊，（面向觀眾的另一面）對啊，劉楠就挺合適的，溫柔，漂亮又善良??還是單身，哈哈劉：郭軍，傻笑什么呢郭：哦，沒什么！劉楠，你春節(jié)回家嗎劉：我啊，最近跟家里鬧了點小別扭，不回去了。這條不錯?。ü男馗┤?、租方為應付父母，須與出租方發(fā)生牽手、擁抱、接吻等場面？！郭：下邊還有呢，牽手每10分鐘30元；擁抱每次50元；接吻每次100元（注：只限于額頭與臉部，不得接觸嘴唇），這樣總行了吧！劉：等等，再添一條：租方如有口臭，需加付300元。春節(jié)來了?。ㄆ聊簧铣霈F(xiàn)餃子，倪萍，鞭炮圖片）新衣服，餃子，倪萍，鞭炮讓這個世界洋溢著濃郁的年味。there will be a PK between Limochou and will be the winner ？I think all of you have different opinions，If you support your hero。s a ：Hero，we need your ：I am busy now!太子丹：You can get a lot of ：I am very busy now!阿三：IC, ID, IQ card? 荊柯：I am very very busy now!阿三(手指上場的美女，激動狀): Look!She is the most beautiful girl in the you say ., she is （流口水）：I have to say she is a very sexy and beautiful girl, but TCM is my only love!阿三：What? What’s the TCM?荊柯。妻子：It’s a good day to e …… Never……妻子(掏出手機撥號，阿三接手機)： Thank you very soon as I get the life assurance $1000, 000, I will transfer half of it, $500,000 to your ：Okay okay!旁白：Then Jingke was sent to IV 秦王：Oh，shit，you look so rude，prim，and ugly，why？why？ 荊軻徒弟：what？you said what？please say again，Iwill kill you。English and RS!: Oh, English? It’s so won’t go to the classroom!（孫川）: Are you sure that we will have English at our first class? : Uh……Yes!: he he a o, he he a o ,he he he he(啄木鳥叫聲)，I just made a hard decision that I won’t go to the classroom too!（陸坤）：I am three!: Ok, as your good want to be four!、 together shout to : No!As our respected and handsome and strong brother, you must go there in case of the teachers’ calling!: Uh…… Ok, you know that When I smile like this :he he, in fact I am thinking that you are all fools in my heart!、 and together smile to :He he……Scene two:( has just gone!): Get up!Get up!It’s time to keep on playing our game!We have no time because of the ing examinations!Therefore we must speed up!: Oh, yeah! is right!Come on !: Uh…….O…….K!At this time, a man break into the room!、 and feel puzzled! : Who are you?(并仔細的開始觀察他)！: ? Are you ? Oh, my dear time no see! and : Feiwu? He is feiwu? Oh, my god!Am I still sleeping?(掐對方)Er……I can’t feel any : A……（李緣）: Do you have any money to