【正文】 which lead to some diseases, is very serious. ?Air pollution, which leads to some diseases, is very serious. 句子不完整 ?One of the many benefits of overseas traveling learning to municate with foreigners. ?One of the many benefits of overseas traveling is learning to municate with foreigners. 句子不完整 ?It is easy for people who overweight to get heart attack. ?It is easy for people who are overweight to get heart attack. ?It is easy for the overweight to get heart attack. 句子不完整 ?The main point of my essay is that personal success only es from. ?The main point of my essay is that personal success only es from honesty and hard work. 句子不完整 ?I will discuss in detail in the following paragraphs. ?I will discuss the issue in detail in the following paragraphs. 句子不完整 ?My roommate is so troublesome, I can hardly put up with him any more. ?My roommate is so troublesome that I can hardly put up with him any more. ?My roommate is so troublesome, and I can hardly put up with him any more. 句子不完整 ?Smoking, drinking are not allowed in school. ?Smoking and drinking are not allowed in school. ?Smoking and alcohol are not allowed in school. 句子不完整 ?It is unclear Red Bull can help revive energy. ?It is unclear whether Red Bull can help revive energy. 句子不完整 ?The output of 2022 is more than 2022. ?The output of 2022 is more than the output of 2022. ?The output of 2022 is more than that of 2022. 句子不完整 ?It is advertisement makes some sports brands famous worldwide, such as Nike and Adidas. ?It is advertisement that makes some sports brands famous worldwide, such as Nike and Adidas. 句子不完整 ?Students spend too much time on TV, ignore their studies. ?Students spend too much time on TV, and ignore their studies. ?Students spend too much time on TV, ignoring their studies. 句子不完整 ?First of all, foreign countries, which create a wonderful language atmosphere for students. ?First of all, foreign countries create a wonderful language atmosphere for students. 句子成分多余 ?In China has more than 10 million people watch 《 Prison Break》 . ?In China, more than 10 million people watch 《 Prison Break》 . ?In China, more than 10 million viewers watch Prison Break. 句子成分多余 ?Human race need water and air to survive in everyday. ?Human race need water and air to survive everyday. ?Human race need water and air to survive every day. 句子成分多余 ?There are more and more people go abroad nowadays. ?There are more and more people going abroad nowadays. ?There are more and more people who go abroad nowadays. ?More and more people go abroad nowadays. 句子成分多余 ?College students grasp a foreign language is a must. ?College students grasping a foreign language is a must. ?It is a must for college students to grasp a foreign language. 句子成分多余 ?There are 70% children think that the main aim of their education should be to develop themselves. ?70% children think that the main aim of their education should be to develop themselves. 句子成分多余 ?Young men like NBA games have a few reasons. ?Young men like NBA games with a few reasons. 句子成分多余 ?There is a social phenome。 efficient ?豐富生活 enrich lifestyle ?推動相關產(chǎn)業(yè) boost related industries ?Against ?耗盡石油資源 deplete fuel resources worldwide ?空氣污染 air pollution ?交通阻塞和事故 traffic jam and accidents For ?Introduction ?To begin with, automobile makes some work convenient and efficient … ?In addition, automobile enriches lifestyle … ?Furthermore, automobile boosts related industries … ?讓步段 ?Conclusion For ?Introduction ?To begin with, it is convenient and efficient to travel by automobile … ?In addition, lifestyle can be enriched via automobile … ?Furthermore, automobile boosts related industries … ?讓步段 ?Conclusion 方便高效 convenient amp。句子排列有一定的邏輯關系 ,能看出各句基本框架 ,但結(jié)構或語法錯誤較多 。有部分句法錯誤 。用詞確切 ,得體 .文章中有個別語法拼寫錯誤 ,但不影響內(nèi)容表達 . ? 4分 :文章切題 ,闡說基本充分 ,在某些細節(jié)上有缺陷 .段落層次組織有序 ,銜接緊密 ,過渡自然 ,邏輯性強 。 ?A growing number of fresh graduates find that being employed by a decent employer is increasingly difficult. ?越來越多的剛剛畢業(yè)的大學生發(fā)現(xiàn)找到好工作是越來越難。 ?More and more college graduates who have just graduated from university find that finding a good job is more and more difficult. ?越來越多的剛剛畢業(yè)的大學生發(fā)現(xiàn)找到好工作是越來越難 ?A growing number of fresh graduates find that obtaining a decent job is increasingly difficult. ?越來越多的剛剛畢業(yè)的大學生發(fā)現(xiàn)找到好工作是越來越難。段落內(nèi)句與句連接順暢 ,句式使用恰當 ,靈活,成熟 。句間連接基本順暢 。沒有段落組織 ,很亂 ,長度很短 ,只有一段 。 concise ?As for me, I side with the former / latter. ?As far as I am concerned, I believe automobile is indispensable in everyday life. ?In my view, it is much better to have everyday life without automobile. Transition 過渡 ?In the following paragraphs, I would present some reasons. ?A few explanations / examples would be presented as follows. ?Thus essential and persuasive evidences would be provided in the subsequent paragraphs to verify my perspective. Conclusion 總結(jié)段 ?Statement 觀點 rewrite, not copy ?All in all / To conclude / In conclusion / In general / To sum up ?When all the abovementioned factors are taken into consideration, a conclusion could be drawn that … Conclusion 總結(jié)段 ?From my point of view, it is advisable to take advantage of automobile while eliminate its drawbacks. ?From where I stand, automobile can not be an essential factor in pursuing a perfect life. Body 主體段 ?To begin with / Firstly / First and foremost ?Secondly / In addition / Moreover ?In the third place / Furthermore / Last but not least Outline ?For ?方便高效 convenient a