【正文】 personality—determination, flexibility, good humor—esthrough in the like “Do you have a hot date tonight, ref?” make the narrationmemorable(we’d love to hear more of these kinds of details). essay needs a faster first paragraph(three sentences)says the same thing in both the first and third sentences—and gives away theessay’s surprise in the second!A good revision would delete all of paragraphone and start at paragraph ’s too much frame here and not enough essay needsfurther development, especially about the difficulties ofbeing and being aref, to keep it author should “dwell” in the meaning of the experience a little moreat the end—“I wonder about…I also think…Sometimes I believe….” Significantexperiences like this one, woven through many years of the author’s life, don’tmean just one thing—there are more insights and lessons to explore here.。little did I know that I wasbeginning an activity that would influence my character and who I am began, I would only work with my dad and was friendly andaccepting because I had just soon realized though that to get betterI needed to start refereeing with people I wasn’t related to, and that’s when myexperience drastically apologetic smile and an “I’m sorry” wasn’tgoing toget me through games I began officiating higherlevel games anddealing with more arrogant coaches, I suddenly entered a new maledominatedworld, a world I had never experienced confidence was shot, and all Iwanted to do was get through each game and be able to I waseven too scared to skate along the teams’ benches because I would get upset bywhat the coaches would yell to me.“Do you have a hot date tonight, ref?” was atypical ment that coaches would spit at me during the course of a eyes, I did not belong on that ice, and they were going to do whateverthey could do to make sure no women wanted to officiate their wasdetermined not to let them chase me off the made the decision to stand up for never responded rudely to thecoaches, but I did not let them walk all over me and destroy my started to act and feel more like the 4year certified AtlanticDistrict Official that I were still a few situations that scared time I called a penalty in a championship game during the third overtime andthe team I penalized ended up losing because they got scored knew I hadmade the right call, even though I was unnerved when I saw the losing teams’parents waiting for me at my locker room。語言成績：赴美國讀研必須提供的語言考試成績是 TOEFL 成績，美國大學(xué)對申請入學(xué)者并無統(tǒng)一TOEFL 錄取分?jǐn)?shù)線，一般都要求分?jǐn)?shù)達(dá)到 80 分以上，另外工科類的普遍要求申請者要有 GRE 成績，一般要求達(dá)到 1100 分以上，商科類的一般都要求有 GMAT500 分以上。好的推薦信有助于申請者提高被錄取的成功率。最后根據(jù)學(xué)校的聲望和成績鑒定所修課程的品質(zhì)。成績單：成績單主要包括學(xué)術(shù)成績單包括在校的每堂已修課程名稱及所有這些課程的分?jǐn)?shù)和學(xué)時。我會在我生活的周邊社區(qū)志愿服務(wù)，改變家鄉(xiāng)，會為第三世界募捐?？吹接腥藦目Х全@取暴利而我的多米尼加爸爸卻得到很少，我無法沉默。我也將永遠(yuǎn)記得我和他們的兩個孩子Jendi、Andisco追逐打鬧吹泡泡的樂趣。我在Cadillo生活的那家人待我如親人，讓我體驗了一番他們的生活是什么樣子。這些畫面仍然在我的腦海里翻滾，但正是Cadillo村里的人比其他所有更讓我見識到社會公平的重要性。這里沒有律師，沒有電。一排排綠色的咖啡樹長在陡峭的山坡上、圍著村子分散開來。我常常排著隊。第二