【正文】 l do anything to se a f ree showeven i f i t is a bad one. When the news got r ound that avar iet y show woul d be presented at our local cinema by the P. and U. Bir d Sed Company, we al r ushed to see i t. We had t o queue f or hour s t o get in and t here must have been s ever al hundred peopl e pr esent just be f or e the show began. Unf or tunately, the show was one of the dul lest we have ever sen. Those who failed to get i n need not ha ve f el t disappointed as many of the ar ti stes who should have appear ed did not e. The only f unny things we heard t hat eveni ng came f rom t he advert iser at t he beginning of t he programme. He was obvi ously ver y nervous and f or some mi nut es stood awkwardly before t he mi cr ophone. As soon as he opened his mout h, everyone bur st out l aughi ng. We al l know what t he poor m an shoul d have sai d, but what he act ual l y sai d was: 39。 sai d the inspector, 39。And you didn39。At what ti me di d you ari ve at the st ati on ?39。 Would a later tr ai n get you to work on ti me ?39。 answer ed t he man.39。 said t he man. 39。 t ime. Even so, people are going to fi nd i t di fi cult t o get o wor k. But so far , t he publ ic has expresed its grati tude t o the students i n leters t o the Pr ess. Only one or two people have obj ected that the st udent s wil dri ve t oo f ast! Lesson85 Never too old t o learn 活到老學(xué)到老 I have j ust r eceived a l et ter f rom my old school inf or ming me that my f or mer head master , Mr Regmal d Page, wil l be reti ri ng next wek. Pupi ls of t he school, ol d and new, wil be sendi ng him a pr esent to mark t he occasi on. Al l those who have contr ibuted towar ds t he gif t wi l si gn t heir names in a large album whi ch wi l be sent to t he headmaster39。 but I l ove to hear you say it !39。Mr Lane was def eat ed i n t he el ct ions. He has reti red fr om poli tical l if e and gone t o li ve abr oad !39。s Radical Progr essi ve Party. Aft er the electi ons, Cr awl ey went to t he f ormer Pr ime Mini ster39。s st eam hammer . Though in those days, t ravel ing was not as easy as it is today, st eam boat s car ri ed t housands of visit or s across t he Channel fr om Eur ope. On ar iving in Engl and, t hey were taken t o the Cr ystal Palace by t rain. Ther e wer e si x mil ion vi si tors in al , and the pr of it s f rom t he exhi bi tion were used to bui ld museums and coll eges. Lat er , t he Cr ystal Palace was moved to Sout h London. I t r emai ned one of t he most f amous buil di ngs in t he worl d unti l i t was bur nt down i n 1936. Lesson81 Escape 脫逃 When he had kil led the guard, t he pr isoner of war qui ckly dragged him i nt o the bushes. Working rapidly i n the darkness, he soon changed into t he dead man39。s crop befor e the Sept ember rains. On the ri ght, you can see Mrs Brabante her sel f . She has been helping her husband for thirt y years now. Mr s Br abant e is talking to t he manager of the local f actory wher e the cr op i s pr ocesed. This l ast scene shows you what wil happen at the end of t he harvest : t he f amous Calabrian macaronieating pet it ion ! Si gnor Fratel i, the pr esent champion, has won it every year si nce 1961. And that ends our speci al bul letin f or t oday, Thursday, Apr il 1st. We are now returning you t o the studio.39。 in t he snow. For tunately, a pi lot saw the si gnal and sent amessage by r adio t o the nearest town. I t was not long before a hel icopter ar ri ved on the scene to r escue the sur vi vors of the pl ane cr ash. Lesson76 April Fools Day 愚人節(jié) 39。Wel , I 39。m Rockwal l Sl inger and this is Mer lin Gr eves.39。 Look, sheri f , 39。 I39。t we e more oft en ?39。 It couldn39。s son, Donal d, also set up a wor ld r ecord. Li ke his father, he was dr iving a car cal ed Bl uebird. Leson73 The record hol der 紀(jì)錄保持者 Lit tle boys who play truant fr om school ar e unimaginat ive. A quiet day39。s f oot steps many years later, Sir Malcol m39。 sai d Glori a Gl eam. 39。No newspaper men, no fil m f ans! Why don39。 he shouted: 39。 39。t be too hard on us. I39。 said the sheri f wit h a sneer. 39。 SOS39。 we are taking you to t he macar oni fi el ds of Calabria. Macaroni has been grown in t hi s area for over six hundr ed years. Two of the leading grower s, Giuseppe Mol dova and Ricar do Br abant e, tel me that hey have been expecting a spl endi d cr op this year and harvest ing has begun ear li er than usual. Here you can see two worker s who, between t hem, have just fi ni shed cutti ng t hr ee cart loads of golden br own macaroni stalks. The whole vil lage has been working day and night gather ing and t hr eshi ng t hi s year39。 I li t a cigar ete t o calm m y nerves. I smoked wit h concent rati on and pl easure as I was sur e t hat this woul d be my l ast cigaret e. For a whol e week I did not smoke at al l and duri ng t hi s time, my wife suffered ter ibly. I had al l t he usual sympt oms of someone giving up smoki ng: a bad temper and an enormous appeti e. My f ri ends kept on of feri ng me cigar et tes and cigar s. They made no ef fort to hide their amusement whenever I pr oduced a packet of sweets fr om my pocket. Aft er seven days of this I went to a par t y. Ever ybody around me was smoki ng and I felt extr emely unfor tabl e. When my old f ri end Bri an urged me to accept a ci gare t e, it was more t han I could bear. I took one guil ti ly, l it it and smoked with sat isfact ion. My wi fe was delighted that things had returned to nor mal once more. Anyway, as Bri an pointed out, it is t he easiest thi ng i n the wor ld to give up smoking. He hi mself has done i t l ot s of ti mes! Lesson79 By air 乘飛機(jī) I used to tr avel by air a gr eat deal when I was a boy. My parent s, used to li ve i n South Ameri ca and I used to f ly t here f rom Europe i n the holi days. An ai rhostess would take char ge of me and I never had an unpleasant experience. I am used to t ravel ling by ai r