【正文】 w my father as subordinate. i was the first black artist to be played on mtv and i remember how big a deal it was even then. and that was in the 80s!
　　my father moved to indiana and had a large family of his own, working long hours in the steel mills, work that kills the lungs and humbles the spirit, all to support his family. is it any wonder that he found it difficult to expose his feelings? is it any mystery that he hardened his heart, that he raised the emotional ramparts? and most of all, is it any wonder why he pushed his sons so hard to succeed as performers, so that they could be saved from what he knew to be a life of indignity and poverty?
　　i have begun to see that even my fatheramp。t want to ruin the magic for fear that he would never do it again. my father had to leave them secretly at night, so as no one might catch him with his guard down. he was scared of human emotion, he didnamp。 no note, no explanation amp。s just being human.
　　and when i think about this, of how i hope that my children will not judge me unkindly, and will forgive my shortings, i am forced to think of my own father and despite my earlier denials, i am forced to admit that me must have loved me. he did love me, and i know that.
　　there were little things that showed it. when i was a kid i had a real sweet tooth amp。ve made, and will certainly continue to make, in raising them. for we have all been someoneamp。our daddy did the best he could, given the unique circumstances that he faced. he may not have been perfect, but he was a warm and decent man, who tried to give us all the love in the world.amp。t always go to a park or a movie with me.
　　so what if they grow older and resent me, and how my choices impacted their youth? why werenamp。t miss a step.
　　but what i really wanted was a dad. i wanted a father who showed me love. and my father never did that. he never said i love you while looking me straight in the eye, he never played a game with me. he never gave me a piggyback ride, he never threw a pillow at me, or a water balloon.
　　but i remember once when i was about four years old, there was a little carnival and he picked me up and put me on a pony. it was a tiny gesture, probably something he forgot five minutes later. but because of that moment i have this special place in my heart for him. because thatamp。 to forgive our parents, if we felt neglected. forgive them and teach them how to love again.
　　you probably werenamp。s children amp。s why iamp。t care less about their parents. left to their own devices, they cherish their independence. they have moved on and have left their parents behind.
　　then there are the far worse cases of children who harbor animosity and resentment toward their parents, so that any overture that their parents might undertake would be thrown forcefully back in their face.
　　tonight, i donamp。t she much of a guard dog, she was such a scared and nervous thing that it is a wonder she did not pass out every time a truck rumbled by, or a thunderstorm swept through indiana. my sister janet and i gave that dog so much love, but we never really won back the sense of trust that had been stolen from her by her previous owner. we knew he used to beat her. we didnamp。black girl,amp。t get much from endless tv, puter games and videos.
　　these hard, cold numbers which for me, wrench the soul and shake the spirit, should indicate to you why i have devoted so much of my time and resources into making our new heal the kids initiative a colossal success.
　　our goal is simple amp。t think that there is not the same pain and anguish among their counterparts in the united kingdom. studies in this country show that every single hour, three teenagers in the uk inflict harm upon themselves, often by cutting or burning their bodies or taking an overdose. this is how they have chosen to cope with the pain of neglect and emotional agony.
　　in britain, as many as 20% of families will only sit down and have dinner together once a year. once a year! and what about the timehonored tradition of reading your kid a bedtime story? research from the 1980s showed that children who are read to, had far greater literacy and significantly outperformed their peers at school. and yet, less than 33% of british children ages two to eight have a regular bedtime story read to them. you may not think much of that until you t