【正文】 地躲清靜正好修身養(yǎng)性你們知道，我這個層次的人是肯定不會坐火車去的不過因為我的名氣太大，全國都知道我還是被請去做訪談還管吃管住免費健身回來后我經(jīng)常上網(wǎng)我對理想伴侶的要求并不高你來了以后我會給你吃很多冰激淋也要跟你一起建立家庭我絕不會對你強硬晚上要跟你一起看星星親愛的你來吧，你第一眼看到我，就會很滿足！這樣描述，正好是你夢寐以求的人生伴侶，于是當(dāng)天就見面了見面以后才發(fā)現(xiàn)，原來他說的跟現(xiàn)實有出入?？墒钱?dāng)我問他為什么要騙人，他卻把他的自我介紹拿出來，一句一句給我解釋，我才發(fā)現(xiàn)原來。注釋版：我是個成熟男人57歲但是我的長相顯年輕滿臉粉刺體形魁梧，給人一種大哥的感覺武松的大哥我事業(yè)成功，是個老板冷飲攤老板 走到哪里都拎著筆記本是記錄冷飲銷售量的筆記本我坐的車比林肯車還寬敞公共汽車多年在北京大學(xué)的熏陶，成就了我的文化品位曾在未名湖旁邊賣冷飲我閑遐時研究中國古代史，尤其是清史愛看《還珠格格》我也跟得上時代的潮流知道今年哪種冷飲好賣經(jīng)?？疵绹娪懊绹鴄片 特別是那種探討人生的社會倫理片亂倫a片喜歡揣摩電影人物的心理活動經(jīng)常幻想自己是a片主人公經(jīng)常跟上流社會打交道，我很厭煩北大校長多次跟我講：“湖邊禁止擺攤！” 所以也經(jīng)常體察下情只好去居民小區(qū)擺攤我很關(guān)心普通老百姓的生活細節(jié)看誰家門窗沒關(guān)好關(guān)心老百姓的富裕水平入室以后，看有哪些值錢的東西我注意調(diào)節(jié)貧富不均把值錢的東西拿回自己家引起社會的強烈反響小區(qū)居民對連環(huán)盜竊案既憤怒又恐懼聽說有人想采訪我警察要來抓我問話這種采訪我以前做得太多了被抓過很多次就去外地躲清靜逃竄正好修身養(yǎng)性修理跳窗時落下的傷口，養(yǎng)幾個性伙伴你們知道，我這個層次的人是肯定不會坐火車去的騎三輪車去天津不過因為我的名氣太大，全國都知道我上了公安部的“全國追逃”互聯(lián)網(wǎng) 還是被請去做訪談終于被抓還管吃管住三年有期徒刑免費健身勞動改造回來后我經(jīng)常上網(wǎng)繼續(xù)找419 對理想伴侶的要求并不高只要比我高就可以你來了以后我會給你吃很多冰激淋當(dāng)天賣不掉，快融化的也要跟你一起建立家庭你要幫我蓋窩棚我絕不會對你強硬陽萎多年晚上要跟你一起看星星窩棚沒有屋頂親愛的你來吧，你第一眼看到我，就會很滿足！不想再看第二眼推薦閱讀（1）人民的司機自我介紹：老板司機，技術(shù)一流；膀大腰圓，一個頂兩；能文能武，秘書保鏢；工作十年，還是碎催；助人為樂，第二職業(yè)；干事熱心，常遭表揚；思想偏激，打抱不平；嫉惡如仇，時挨板磚；工資不高，將金豐豐；善事點點，回報大大；今逢眾友，一表決心；（2）豐文先生的自我介紹：其貌不揚，心地善良；生活平凡，身強力壯； 文化不高，小有修養(yǎng)；工作一般，偶得獎賞；薪水不低，稍遜小康；衣豐食足，自視天堂；與世無爭，免去神傷?? 誤入“謎”途，執(zhí)“謎”不悟；朝思暮想，迷“謎”?！盎ⅰ?！個性幽默自我介紹很多時候，很多人都喜歡幽默自我介紹，因為它可以給人輕松愉悅的氣氛。具體幽默的內(nèi)容有哪些呢？每個人的性格不同，其內(nèi)容也不一樣。若您有興與我暢談大千宇宙世界，請不要搖頭害羞，盡管放馬來吧！陪人聊天，每字6毛，標點符號半價收費，千字以上打8折!先付款，后聊天，款到即聊。對待非專業(yè)人士，偶不承擔(dān)主動交談義務(wù)。1980年中國制造，長178cm，凈重66kg。采用人工智能，各部分零件齊全，運轉(zhuǎn)穩(wěn)定，經(jīng)二十多年的運行，屬質(zhì)量信得過產(chǎn)品。人還不錯，除了長的帥點以外，也沒什么缺點了！我有時候覺得，自己其實不太帥。我是宇宙超級網(wǎng)蟲，歡迎你打我、罵我、k我、扁我、踢我、踹我、揍我，甚至把我煮、煎、炒、炸、燜、燉、紅燒、清蒸、干褊、水煮??我都毫無怨言，但前提是：這個人必須是天底下最最漂亮、可愛、美麗、溫柔、善良、賢惠、有氣質(zhì)的大美女某某（女友名字）別看資料，看聊效??！曾經(jīng)有個女孩子要與我共赴黃泉“你再不還我錢,我就和你同歸于盡!”曾經(jīng)有個女孩子與我相約到下輩子“想追求我?下輩子吧!”曾經(jīng)有個女孩子肯為我而死“跟你在一起,我寧愿死!”家窮人丑，一米四九。小學(xué)文化，農(nóng)村戶口。破屋三間，薄田一畝。女口果人爾能看日月白這段言舌，那言兌日月人爾白勺目艮目青有嚴重白勺散光篇二：簡短幽默自我介紹簡短幽默自我介紹 一，基本情況 男，**年出生(真實年齡決不瞞報)，無婚史、現(xiàn)居**。本人性格開朗，為人真誠，無不良嗜好(抽煙、偶爾和朋友小聚喝點但最多5瓶啤酒。也算情理之中)，健康狀況良好，各個部位都運作正常。**省**人。家中有瓦房二套，沒車。一，基本情況男，**年出生(真實年齡決不瞞報)，無婚史、現(xiàn)居**。本人性格開朗，為人真誠，無不良嗜好(抽煙、偶爾和朋友小聚喝點但最多5瓶啤酒。也算情理之中)，健康狀況良好，各個部位都運作正常。**省**人。家中有瓦房二套，沒車。二、功能介紹肩膀——兩個，你可以依靠、可以當(dāng)枕頭、可騎??個性自我介紹手 ——當(dāng)然是一雙，寒冷的時候可以抱緊你，夏天還可以幫你趕蚊子??心 ——無論何時何地，永遠只想你!身體——從此勿需熱水袋電熱毯。腦 ——想偷懶不做家務(wù)嗎?剪刀、石頭、布，公平解決，切記，我只出布，屢試屢敗!三、優(yōu)勢分析四、劣勢分析,善良熱愛生活，要有進取心!身高(160左右，體重4256kg左右,本人172，62kg)五、機會點分析有抽煙嗜好者走開，偶爾抽一兩根者除外(單單指玩)。有固定工作、且熱愛工作、對未來充滿憧憬(不包括工作狂)者優(yōu)先!briefa sense of humorto introduce myselfintroduction: a, basic situation male, born in * *(age never conceal), there is no history of marriage, now living in * *.i have a bright and cheerful disposition, sincere, no bad habits(smoking, but occasionally and friends to gettogether drink up to 5 bottles of beer, also calculate understandable),healthcondition, operating normally.* * * * have 2 sets the tile, dont have a develop my , basic situation, male, born in * *(age never conceal), there is no history of marriage, now living in * *.i have a bright and cheerful disposition, sincere, no bad habits(smoking, but occasionally and friends to gettogether drink up to 5 bottles of beer, also calculate understandable), good health, all parts are operating normally.* * * * have 2 sets the tile, dont have a develop my , the function is introduced 1, mouth, articulate, believe that you have wont feel , shoulderstwo, you can rely on, can be a pillow, can ride...personality self introduction 3, a pair of hand, of course, the cold can hold you tight, summer can also help you catch mosquitoes...4, feet, can withstand the 62 kg weight, as long as you i added up to no more than 250 jins can carry you for a , heart, no matter when and where, only miss you forever!6 re shuidai, bodyno need to electric blanket, experts say the body temperature of forbidden long durable and most important thing is save electricity!7, brainthink too lazy to do the housework?scissors, stone, cloth, fair solution, remember, i only out of the cloth, repeatedly try and fail!8, not ugly, for the husband is the , advantage analysis 1, always enthusiastic to the person with sincere(not including my rival in love).2, is the wife and the only best punching bag(only)when two , character cheerful, kind, reason and impulse hybrid players, only to analyze problems, dont use violence to solve problems(except when the wife hurt).4, is singleminded, a flower, fruit, to hand over all really is a good boy!happy to introduce myself four, weaknesses analysis 1, the girls want to gold, please stop, although i also want to meet you, but i really havent much , full of fantasy girl also stay all day,lifereality not , if i really love you, i would to you very good, so good that you want to run(in efforts to correct).4, want to half a day i only think about this a last must filial piety, kind and love life, to be aggressive!height(around 160, weight is 4256 kg, i on conversion of 172 kg)five, the opportunity to point analysis 1, i am looking for a wife, not to , taking diet pills, a day to drill several trips to the bar, ktv, such as father zhewu , have smoke aficionados move, except of smokes in one or two root(refers to play alone).smoking women sometimes really is very beautiful, but i really dont want to be at home when you send me a root, i send you a , housekeeping pull over, i have a mother is (declined)5, tender, swee