申請(qǐng)美國(guó)大學(xué)入學(xué)文書范本-文庫(kù)吧
2024-10-23 23:06 本頁(yè)面
【正文】 of these kinds of details). essay needs a faster first paragraph(three sentences)says the same thing in both the first and third sentences—and gives away the essay’s surprise in the second!A good revision would delete all of paragraph one and start at paragraph ’s too much frame here and not enough essay needs further development, especially about the difficulties of being and being a ref, to keep it author should “dwell” in the meaning of the experience a little more at the end—“I wonder about…I also think…Sometimes I believe….” Significant experiences like this one, woven through many years of the author’s life, don’t mean just one thing—there are more insights and lessons to explore here.第二篇：申請(qǐng)美國(guó)大學(xué)入學(xué)文書范本申請(qǐng)美國(guó)大學(xué)入學(xué)文書范本I guess it was inevitable that I’d be on hockey skates at some point in mylife, but I did not expect that I’d bee one of a rare group of female icehockey officials before I even reached high born into a family ofhockey players and figure skaters, it seemed that my destiny had already from the beginning, my two older brothers and my father strapped meup and threw me onto the loved it and, in my mind, I was on my way tobeing a female Gretzky!But my mom had to think of something fast to drag herlittle girl away from this sport of my first hot pink figureskating dress!That was all it took to launch fifteen years of petitivefigure though figure skating soon became my passion, I always hadan unsatisfied yearning for ice took a great deal of convincing frommy parents that petitive figure skating and ice hockey didn’t promise became refereeing ice hockey。little did I know that I wasbeginning an activity that would influence my character and who I am began, I would only work with my dad and was friendly andaccepting because I had just soon realized though that to get betterI needed to start refereeing with people I wasn’t related to, and that’s when myexperience drastically apologetic smile and an “I’m sorry” wasn’tgoing toget me through games I began officiating higherlevel games anddealing with more arrogant coaches, I suddenly entered a new maledominatedworld, a world I had never experienced confidence was shot, and all Iwanted to do was get through each game and be able to I waseven too scared to skate along the teams’ benches because I would get upset bywhat the coaches would yell to me.“Do you have a hot date tonight, ref?” was atypical ment that coaches would spit at me during the course of a eyes, I did not belong on that ice, and they were going to do whateverthey could do to make sure no women wanted to officiate their wasdetermined not to let them chase me off the made the decision to stand up for never responded rudely to thecoaches, but I did not let them walk all over me and destroy my started to act and feel more like the 4year certified AtlanticDistrict Official that I were still a few situations that scared time I called a penalty in a championship game during the third overtime andthe team I penalized ended up losing because they got scored knew I hadmade the right call, even though I was unnerved when I saw the losing teams’parents waiting for me at my locker room。for the moment I wished I hadn’tcalled that it was scary at the time, I stood my ground andovercame my was an importantsteppingstone in my officiating careerand in my four years of refereeing, I still can’t say it’s gamehands me something ne
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