【正文】 I hate myself a little for saying this, but...it felt really sad... not to have a man in my lifewho cares about me. No special guy to wish me happy birthday. No goddamn soul mate. And I don39。s just the four of us. You have to e, it39。m going to bed. I39。s just me, Charlotte! I just aged 35 more years. What are you doing here? I39。re ing uptown. Meet you at the coffee shop in 20 minutes. End of messages. Carrie? It39。m here. They said you just left. Where are you? We39。m at the wrong place. Did you know there39。t know how to spell II Cantinori for the idiot at 411. Get a cell phone! Carrie, it39。t wait for me. Happy birthday. I39。m in traffic. They39。ll be 10 minutes late. The reservation line is busy, I39。m sorry! God! By the time I got home...I had fallen into an emotional hole so deep... only a fireman without a collarbone could rescue me. You have 14 messages. Honey, I39。ll bring some beer over, and we39。m sorry! Marilyn Monroe, do me a fucking favor, get off the road! I39。t pick up the cake! She39。re standing! It39。t imagine where everybody is. There is only one ll Cantinori, right? Yes. Okay. The woman with the birthday cake is here...and she needs to be paid. Okay. I39。. Okay, thanks. Can I bring you some champagne now? Not yet. Good, great, excellent. Happy birthday to you Happy birthday to you Happy birthday, dear Marta Happy birthday to you Fuck, I39。ll be drinking a lot of champagne. Good, great, excellent. Twenty minutes later, still no party. Hi. Still alone. Did anyone call asking for Bradshaw? Not that I39。s right. Here you go. Enjoy. Thank you. Hi. Hi. Would you like a drink whilst waiting? I39。re the first to arrive. Follow me, please. It39。s perfect in its splendor. But I39。re the best. That39。s not just about being single. Everyone has a sore spot that needs a little edy routine....let alone a poopy diaper. And so Miranda laughed. Not because it was particularly funny...but because it was kind. They told me you were inside. Am I disturbing you? May I join you? I was thinking about you yesterday. You and the work that you do. I was at the market. They39。 Right? It39。Where are the kids?39。re thinking, 39。t someone for everyone. There it was. The truth. No Hallmark hope, no twodrink minimum. So how is Joe? You39。t met him yet, right? Maybe, maybe not. I don39。m not. Look, he39。m fantastic! Gosh! Joe and I just got back from New Orleans. So how are you? Are you seeing anyone special? But Miranda wasn39。s going to be at ll Cantinori, at 8:30 . And if you39。s tonight, and you39。s midnight here in New York, and it39。m not in, so please leave a message. I think you39。s not guys. Lately, it39。t be any worse than a priest and a busboy. We39。ll always be in style. I used to masturbate to a busboy who was rude to me once. What do you think that means? Fine, the cheese stands alone. Come on, Charlotte. Get that judgmental puss off, and join in. Who do you fantasize about? No, it39。s amazing. What did women do before Russell Crowe? Gee Clooney. Clooney39。s imagination. It39。m carrying for the homeless...out of my arms, rips open my dress... lays me down in the street and enters me. What do you do for the next 2 hours and 20 minutes? Stop, you are talking about a priest. It39。t have him. It39。s got that kind of time? I like to get in and get out. I enjoy a quickie every now and then... but when it39。s St. Francis giving his coat to the poor. Samantha Jones, public relations. lf you change your mind about the benefit...or anything. And just like that, Samantha went from Mr. No Soul... to Mr. all Souls. After church, most people go out for pancakes. Samantha wasn39。re more about collecting food, canned goods to feed to the needy. So... I love your robe. This is what we wear. I39。m in public relations. And I was thinking maybe I could help put a benefit together. Something classy, respectful. I can guarantee Donald Trump and Marlo Thomas. Thank you, but here at all Souls, we39。m not gonna lose my table at Pastis...so you can cruise a holy man. What street are we on, again? That Sunday, Samantha went to church. Good morning. Good morning. I noticed all the good work you39。 bien, gracias. You tell them, Friar Fuck. Okay, sister, let39。39。39。s just keep it to low maintenance friends. All right. Wele. Come in. He is hot. He is a priest. He is a hot priest. Look at his robe. It39。m done with them. Maybe not. And I think he39。s friendly. Do you think I should I invite him? How should I know? When I39。 Okay, calm down, Auntie Mame. I39。m 35!39。39。ve got to do better than that. You39。m kind of into laying low. Laying low or feeling low? No, I39。? And as you move from age box to age box...and the contestants get fewer and fewer...are your chances of finding your soul mate less and less? Soul mates, reality or torture device? What about a little birthday dinner? ll Cantinori, something nice. I39。Happily Ever After39。t your soul mate? Were they just a runnerup contestant in this game show... called 39。 Honey, wele to my box. Soul mate. Two little words, one big concept. A belief that someone, somewhere...is holding the key to your heart, and your dream house. All you have to do is find them. So where is this person? And if you loved someone and it didn39。35 to 44.39。 Not after next week. Birthday girl. 39。20 to 25, 25 to 30, 30 to 34.39。Age. Check box. 39。m not in the mood. Not for you, for her. Okay! No. Yes. 39。s just perfect for me. Maybe I should keep looking. Here you go. Okay, we39。t think that a soul mate would...on your leg. Really true. There39。re being set up to fail. Exactly, and you feel bad about yourself. It makes the gap between the Holy Grail and the assholes even bigger. I don39。s too much. The bad thing about the one perfect soul mate...is that it39。s saying that you39。ve had hundreds. And if you miss one