【正文】 behavior to set a lifelong foundation for the child. (yi shen zuo ze以身作則 ). Training of Affective Control ? Early training in the control of affective display is part of the education in good manners. ? Yanshi Jiaxun ,Yan’ s Family Teaching 顏氏家訓(xùn)(53191 AD): train a child from infant: to interpret adult’ s facial expressions and to act according to parental wishes. ? ? Our family has always emphasized strictness in teaching children. When I was a young child at home, we walked properly and took every step delicately, spoke gently and calmly, showed great reverence and fear in front of parents and elders.? ? Yan’ s 20 essays on family education set a model for later Confucian scholars. Training of Affective Control ? Emphasis: posed, reverential behavior and on the restriction of physical activities among children. ? Text on family education: ? Parents should teach their children ? no leaping, arguing, joking, or using vulgar language.? ? ? How children should be taught to sit, stand, walk, speak, bow, recite, and write.? ? ? The little ones are exhorted always to walk slowly with the arms held under the sleeves, with no waving of the arms or jumping.? Training of Affective Control ? Important aspect of socialization in traditional Chinese culture: to train a person to be bugou yanxiao不茍言笑 , to never to reveal one’ s thoughts and feelings. ? To sum up: Chinese parents were pressured to instill solemnity and selfcontrol early on in their children. On Dongshi 懂事(understanding things) ? The age at which a child is old enough to be punished is based on the assumed developmental stages of a person’ s capacity for moral reasoning: called dongshi (understanding things) ? ? When the son reaches the age of dongshi (understanding/reason), the father must be serious and proper in his speech and way of living in order to teach his son.? On Dongshi (understanding things) ? In Sima Guang’ s 司馬程 (AD101986) Jia fan家訓(xùn) (Family Examples): ? As soon as the child can eat by himself, he must be taught to eat with his right hand. Family discipline must begin as soon as the child can talk and begin to know things. By the age of six, teaching of numbers and names of things must begin.? ? Cheng brothers 程氏兄弟 (11 century Confucian scholars) said, ? People in ancient times discipline their children as soon as they can eat and talk.? On Dongshi (understanding things) ? Filial devotion孝 must be taught to toddlers as soon as they can walk/talk. . to pay daily respect to grandparents and to address elderly properly. ? ? The family regulations are such that as soon as a child begins to understand, he is not only taught to obey, but also loses his freedom of action.? ? Yan’ s Family Teaching: even earlier teaching of infant– to be aware of adults’ emotional states, to distinguish pleasure from anger. ? ? To educate a daughterinlaw, one must begin on the first of marriage。 others emotions can be expressed but ignored. Emotional Behavior in a Social Context ? According to Potter’ s research, villagers in his research did not expect emotional expressiveness to help in achieving an end. (. anger would not help repeal an unpopular policy/ make a travel permit available). ? . The open expression of sorrow did not elicit public sympathy. ? Expression of sorrow did not elicit any valued response, and sharing of emotion was not a sign of intimacy between individuals. (Romantic) Love in Traditional Chinese Community ? Potter: In China, social order/ relationships and behavior do not require an emotional basis. ? In the West, love is thought to be the proper basis of relationship between husband and wife and between father and son. ? In Potter’ s Chinese village, romantic love was not required for a successful marriage or filial piety. ? Marriages were arranged between persons from different villages. Love between two persons in the same village brings harm. (Romantic) Love in Traditional Chinese Community ? A father who expressed affection for a son was thought to invite a breakdown of proper respect. ? Love, rather than affirming the social structure, was seen to endanger it. ? ? Romantic love is culturally alien in Mainland China… marriage choice is ideally based on ‘ good feelings.’? ? A person with good feelings toward another is willing to work and sacrifice on behalf of that person. . unconditional responsibility and altrusim ? Love: oiching愛情 , a new term in Chinese (Romantic) Love in Traditional Chinese Community ? However, Jankowiak (1993 paper): in his study of Hohhot, the capital of the inner Mongolian Autonomous Region. ? Romantic love as the theme of films and magazines. Young people date and fall in love. ? Jankowiak: ? Romantic love existed well before the founding of the Han dynasty, in some cases, actually thrived in the face of powerful parental opposition.? (Romantic) Love in Traditional Chinese Community ? Traditional marriage: arranged, without passionate lo