【正文】 音，掀起了蓋頭)l(驚喜萬分): johnny!(不顧一切地飛奔到j(luò)的身邊并躲到了的身后)(ms大怒，揮拳向j打來．j矮身一躲，ms打中了j身后的l，l暈倒)j(火冒三丈): how dare you beat my wife!（揮拳向ms沖去）(j與ms混戰(zhàn)，jm上，以拐杖擊暈ms)(j將ms胸前的新郎標(biāo)志扯下戴在自己胸前)j(扶起l，關(guān)切地問):honey, how are you? l(哭狀): i hurt a lot!j: don’t cry ’ll go and fetch the medicine.(下)l(起身去追):wait for me!(跑下)第四篇：英語搞笑短劇劇本西游記Beat it!人物：T:唐僧 陳鵬M:孫悟空 陳中良P:豬八戒 李濤S:沙僧 魏濤 X:白骨精原型 李鵬程X1:白骨精變成的男人X2:白骨精變成的女人 劉佳佳Q:女兒國王后 徐靜靜T: Wow…,boys,this place looks we are now?Does any one of you young men know what this place is? 眾徒弟們搖頭，除了八戒在看書。T: bajie, give me the map(不回頭，懶洋洋的問)T:bajie? Give the map to me!（嚴(yán)肅的問）T：bajie!Give the fucking??..(轉(zhuǎn)過身看到八戒在看書)T:(很吃驚)hey！bajie，you are making youself a new kind of book are you reading? Is it 《jingangjing》 or 《dabeizhou》? 八戒依舊看書，不理睬。i am tang seng,you can call me Tanny X:hi Tanny?you look great,maybe we can have some time together alone T:yeah,you are right, what are we waiting for?!Let us go!(半路碰到悟空，悟空火眼金睛看出是妖怪)M:Monster！look at how I beat you?.（唐僧趕忙攔?。㏕:what you are doing,you bastard monkey!this beautiful lady is my guest, M:boss,it is a monster,he change himself into a charming girl so as to attact will eat you T:bullshit!you must be fed up with this trip to west?..（悟空執(zhí)意要打，唐僧苦勸不聽）T：I think you little monkey need some punishment(擺姿勢，要念咒語)M：（趕忙說）oh,no, master,not that :(念咒，好了得，悟空落荒而走)T安慰x2之后，繼續(xù)走，一段路之后：X2:hahaha?..look at who I am（變回原樣，唐僧大喊救命）.X2：i will eat you?.Q及時趕來，從悟空那里得知了情況Q:monster!...stop！he is my man....（轉(zhuǎn)向T)T：no, I am not！(有口莫辯)Q（面向x）：who are you? X:I am baigujing?.and you？Q:doesn’t will finish you（舉起魔杖，要說阿瓦達索命，突然停?。㎡h?but you look familiar?.you are xiaobai? X:you are小小？ it must been hundreds of years since the last time I met you,where have you been these :why do not contact me? X:I do not know your number?..this is your man?!Q:how could it be possible(走過來，把唐僧撥拉到一旁)..i miss you，小白X：I miss you too??（背景音樂響起，《找朋友》）X：how about a cup of tea in my house? Q: that would be perfect, let us go?.音樂停，場上只有唐僧，猶豫的望著天空，音樂換成《一生所愛》 一會兒，悟空和八戒上場，安慰唐僧（背景音樂響起，《算什么男人》），重新上路《敢問路在何方》?..全劇終。X1:I look great!蹣跚的走過去X1:hello,master..i have not have food for days….can you give me some? T(瞄一眼，繼續(xù)吃、看)what? i myself is starving of here, you bastard!Pig,beat him,get him out of ：er…..悟空，I told you to get him out of here,not beat him to death…..Next time don’t do this kind of thing(搖頭但繼續(xù)吃，看書)M: whatever, all right(懶得解釋)（悟空看到美女畫冊，急忙湊上去看，師傅把畫冊上下左右移動，悟空隨之移動，師傅發(fā)現(xiàn)了，開始說：）Ah, wukong ,you want to have a look at it,aren’t you ,If you want to just tell me, I will give it to you, if you don’t tell me how can I know that you want to have a look at it, even if you think in your heart that you want to have a look at it, if you don’t tell me, I still do not know that you want to have a look at it…….(悟空早已痛苦不堪，逃離此地)T：wukong！e back?。ㄌ粕畵u搖頭,繼續(xù)看書)X:（看到畫冊）ah…..I got a idea!變成了一個女的 說話一定要嗲X2:（曼妙的走過來，碰一下唐僧，唐僧不轉(zhuǎn)頭：leave me ，唐僧依然不轉(zhuǎn)頭：I said leave me ，x2開口說話）X2:hi….Mr handsome!T:（轉(zhuǎn)頭）wow…h(huán)i beauty!（扔掉畫冊，背景音樂響起，only you，神情對視，過會兒）e here,do you want some food？take some bananes。b: good idea!j(驚訝): what? what? lunch is going to get married? it’s impossible!abamp。s intuition(直覺)T: Wukong(S不理T)I admit my mistake this time(S仍不理)I39。我再也不用為錢發(fā)愁，可是，卻失去了男朋友應(yīng)有的對我的關(guān)心和珍惜。郭建國：看，你還記得。李阿芳：我們高中就在一起了，他對我特好。李阿芳：國，城里人真的好奇怪，就一大鍋菜硬是被他們整成了火鍋，一點青菜豆腐賣的那么貴。第一篇：搞笑短劇劇本《茶葉蛋與愛情》第一幕在那個炎熱而充滿激情的夏天，經(jīng)過無數(shù)次課間的小紙條，郭建國終于和李阿芳在一起了。這天郭建國打來了電話。劉思思：你就有男朋友了，真快啊。李阿芳：你怎么又來了？郭建國：阿芳，為什么？為什么？為什么？你真的不愛我了嗎？你忘記當(dāng)年在幽幽谷我們許下的諾言嗎？山無棱，天地合.....李阿芳：乃敢與君絕。我現(xiàn)在去逛街，再也不用擔(dān)心買不起衣服，可是之前看中的幾十塊的裙子卻再也找不到了；去世界之窗，我卻想起了之前我們在小河里捉魚的日子；買化妝品，可是我卻認(rèn)不出我自己了。t understand......What happened? S: Boss,your IQ needs increasing!This monster changed its appearance into three shapes in order to cheat you!T: How, how did you find out? S:(沉默).......Monkey39。c: give us all your money!j(搜遍了每一個口袋，掏出1角硬幣):is 1mao enough?(三強盜暈倒?fàn)?，接著三人聚在一邊商?a: what bad luck!this guy is broken!b: if we cannot rob any money today, we will have nothing to eat tonight!c: i heard that the mayor’s son is going to marry miss liu lanzhi next can go and rob the wedding!aamp。Hahahaaa…I heard that any