【正文】 e Chinese insert an extra month once every few years(seven years out of a 19yearcycle).This is the same as adding an extra day on leap year（閏年）.This is why, according to the solar calendar, the Chinese New Year falls on a different date each Year39。t you think you39?！盩en CandiesMother asks her son, “Jim, if you have ten candies, and you eat four, then how many candles do you have?”“Ten.” Jim says.“Then,” Mother asks.“Yes, candles are in my stomach and six candies are out of my and six is ten, isn’t it right?”十塊糖媽媽問兒子：“吉姆，如果你有10塊糖，吃了4塊，那你還有幾塊糖？”“10塊?！笆裁?？出什么事了？”約翰醒了?！班?，還不錯(cuò)?！彼f?！彼匝宰哉Z道：“我該怎么做呢？”過了一會(huì)兒他想到了一個(gè)“好”主意。只不過你一直呆在井里，所有不知道世界很大。他的媽媽抱另一位婦女的小孩，把他放在自己的床上?！盩wo Holes for the DogsMy uncle has two is big and the other is likes them very day, came to visit the friend saw two holes in the door, a large hole and a small hole, he was surprised and said, “My dear friend, why are there two holes in your door?” “Let my dogs e in and e out, of course,” asked.“But why are there two holes? One is enough!” “But how can the big dog go through the small hole?” my uncle a clever man may make such 我的叔叔有兩條狗。一天，他回到家，他媽媽問他：“你喜歡你的新老師嗎？”“不，我不喜歡她，媽媽。湯姆是約翰的弟弟。” 7 “I39?！霸俳o你兩分錢?！昂煤⒆?。一天，狗驕傲地說著；?我是多么重要?。“滋煳以谀翀?chǎng)看護(hù)家群，晚上我看家。”于是這個(gè)婦人試著撫摸小狗，可是小狗卻咬了她。他是干什么的？小孩：墓地守墓人。可是你昨天說你告訴我的知識(shí)都是一個(gè)耳朵里進(jìn)，一個(gè)耳朵里出，所以我要把它堵在里面。如果我把他們看成了四個(gè)，那么我就算醉了。他到了辦公室，遛達(dá)進(jìn)去，對(duì)老板說：“我今天早上起床一點(diǎn)麻煩都沒有。這個(gè)孩子正處于那種對(duì)什么事都很感興趣的年齡，老是有提不完的問題。re right, Dad, Give me a dollar, will you? 兒子：爸爸，給我一角錢。老師：“雞蛋”在哪？學(xué)生：在蛋糕里，先生Child:My uncle has 1000 men under :He is really does do? Child:A maintenance man in a cemetery 他真是一個(gè)大人物小孩：我叔叔下面有1000個(gè)人。“但是如果沒有我犁地，你看護(hù)什么呢？” 11 That Is Not My Dog!A woman walks into a pet shop and sees a cute little asks the shopkeeper, “Does your dog bite?”The shopkeeper says, “No, my dog does not bit.” The woman tries to pet the dog and the dog bites her.“Ouch!” She says, “I thought you said your dog does not bite!” The shopkeeper replies, “That is not my dog!” 那不是我的狗一個(gè)婦人走進(jìn)一家寵物店，看見一只很可愛的小狗?！?10 The Ox and the Dog An ox and a dog serve for the same day the dog arrogantly says: “How grand I am!In the daytime, I watch out for the cattle in the meadows。“我奶奶?！白蛱旖o你的錢干什么了？”“我給了一個(gè)可憐的老太太，”他回答說。你怎么會(huì)問這個(gè)問題？這可是一個(gè)愚蠢的問題。我昨天吃了一塊蛋糕?！?我叔叔說：“大狗怎能走小洞呢？” 有時(shí)聰明的人可能會(huì)犯這樣的錯(cuò)誤。請(qǐng)不要?dú)⒘宋业暮⒆?！”一位母親哭喊道。各有一個(gè)嬰兒?！鼻嗤芫蛦査骸澳銖哪睦飦?？”“我從天上上來。一天，他看見一戶人家的門頭有個(gè)很漂亮的鈴鐺。不一會(huì)，狼先生畫好了。剛才我睡著了。今天他又睡著了?！?“20美元！為什么？不是說好只要4美元。我昨天吃了一塊蛋糕。如何來解釋未來呢? 也許那只是一個(gè)美好的愿望。曾經(jīng)我盼望將來能上大學(xué)，然而那已經(jīng)過去了，現(xiàn)在我在這兒，只想知道我的未來會(huì)是什么樣的。找舊的，回到那里去。你要愛你的生活，盡管它貧窮。第二篇：英語幽默小故事英語幽默小故事The Bear and the Two TravelersTWO man were traveling together, when a Bear suddenly met them on their of them climbed up quickly into a tree and concealed himself in the other, seeing that he must be attacked, fell flat on the ground, and when the Bear came up and felt him with his snout, and smelt him all over, he held his breath, and feigned the appearance of death as much as he Bear soon left him, for it is said he will not touch a dead he was quite gone, the other Traveler descended from the tree, and jocularly inquired of his friend what it was the Bear had whispered in his ear.“He gave me this advice,” his panion replied.“Never travel with a friend who deserts you at the approach of danger.”An ant went to the bank of a river to quench its thirst, and being carried away by the rush of the stream, was on the point of Dove sitting on a tree overhanging the water plucked a leaf and let it fall into the stream close to Ant climbed onto it and floated in safety to the afterwards a bird catcher came and stood under the tree, and laid his limetwigs for the Dove, which sat in the Ant, perceiving his design, stung him in the pain the bird catcher threw down the twigs, and the noise made the Dove take good turn deserves anotherLove Your Life熱愛生活Henry David Thoreau/However mean your life is,meet it and live it。他媽媽問，“發(fā)生了什么事？”“一個(gè)男孩咬了我一口，”伊凡說。t cry, but the teacher did!六歲的約翰嬌生慣養(yǎng)。s loving he came home from school his grandma met him at the school all right? she asked, Did you get along(相處)all right? did you cry? Cry? John , I didn39。d know him any where,” said Ivan.“I have his ear in my pocket.”伊凡鼻子流著血回到家里。至于get home，強(qiáng)調(diào)的是已經(jīng)到家，get有確定到達(dá)的意思。愛找缺點(diǎn)的人就是到天堂里也能找到缺點(diǎn)。視貧窮如園中之花而像圣人一樣耕植它吧！不要找新的花樣，無論是新的朋友或新的衣服，來麻煩你自己。如果一個(gè)人的一生必須面臨不同的選擇，那么我就是伴隨著這些選擇成長起來的。并且我深信我的親人，好朋友以及愛會(huì)使我的未來更完美，更幸福。s Day, the Chinese family will eat a vegetarian dish called the various ingredients in jai are root vegetables or fibrous vegetables, many people attribute various superstitious aspects to foods include a whole fish, to represent togetherness and abundance, and a chicken for chicken must be presented with a head, tail and feet to symbolize should be uncut, as they represent long south China, the favorite and most typical dishes were nian gao, sweetsteamed glutinous rice（糯米）pudding and zong zi(glutinous rice wrapped up in reed（蘆葦）leaves), another popular the north, steamedwheat bread(man tou)and small meat dumplings were the preferred tremendous amount of food prepared at this time was meant to symbolize abundance and wealth for the 15Day Celebration of Chinese New YearThe first day of the Lunar New Year is “the weling of the gods of the heavens and earth.”Many people abstain from meat on the first