【正文】 they were –in oneonone meeting could clearly explain ideas ?Consider additional information you need –may need to discuss the situation and gather information ? from the individual ? from others who know the situation ? from others who know more about municating ?Make a decision based on the data –style may be all, part of, or none of the problem Test the possibility against reality, and decide Managing Styles: How Do You Know... (2 of 2) 34 cmnctnstl2 ?Each person’s munication style is as natural to them as breathing –their style is invisible to them –it is an integral part of who they are –any problem if they are aware of it isn’t theirs ? from their perspective, everyone else has the problem ? from their perspective, they are right ?Your perspective and point of view on the situation is influenced by your own style –we all think our style is “right” ? your bias may cause resistance in the listener –positional thinking will not motivate someone to change There are key points to remember to make coaching munication successful Managing Styles: Preparing to Coach (1 of 2) 35 cmnctnstl2 ?Changing style may seem an easy and obvious solution to you –consequently, you may expect them to greet your suggestion with glee, and get right on it ?To them, it may seem threatening, impossible, or even insulting –may hear that who they are is wrong –may have no idea how to make changes –may feel (strongly) the norm is wrong, and it should change ?Even if they want to change, doing so can be difficult –the habits they have are ? ingrained, often from birth ? successful in the system they are most familiar with Consider the situation from their point of view Managing Styles: Preparing to Coach (2 of 2) 36 cmnctnstl2 ?The message is: –all styles are equally valid as styles ? one is not quantifiably better than another ? all styles can work well with others who share that style –but all styles do not work equally well in every situation ? their style is not working well in this setting –to be more effective, remend they expand their style Be clear on the message Managing Styles: Before You Start 37 cmnctnstl2 ?Identify and help them understand the problem –state the problem in general –describe specific behaviors that illustrate the problem ? (. being quiet in caseteam meetings) –ask about why they act the way they do (their intended munication) –provide feedback on how behavior is perceived ? help them see the “miss” ?Suggest possibility of a clash in munication styles – emphasize problem is situational, not personal – their style does not work well in this setting There are specific steps to convey the message. First, introduce the problem. Managing Styles: In the Coaching Session (1 of 4) 38 cmnctnstl2 ?Explain munication styles: what they are, how they work –general concept ? styles and how they work ? Bain’s norm –specific application ? use examples at Bain –others who have had similar style characteristics –others who have had style clashes – focus on explaining and getting buyin on the problem – address solutions later Next, explain munication styles in general, and in this situation Managing Styles: In the Coaching Session (2 of 4) 39 cmnctnstl2 ?Explain value of Bain’s norm –in caseteam situations –at clients ?Remend expanding style in order to better match Bain’s norm –give examples ?Emphasize that you are seeking a result: changed behavior –how they correct the problem is their choice ?Explain consequences (if any) of status quo Help them understand why Bain is the way it is, then suggest how they can increase effectiveness in this norm. Managing Styles: In the Coaching Session (3 of 4) 40 cmnctnstl2 ?Be prepared to: –address resistance/concerns ? “Why should I change? They’re the ones who are rude.” ? “Are you saying there is something wrong with me?” –discuss pro’s and cons ? higher level of effectiveness in more situations ? it isn’t easy。 Tannen, Deborah, “You Just Don’t Understand”, Ballantine Books, New York, 1990 Style in Action Getting Credit for Your Ideas (1 of 2) 3 cmnctnstl2 Source: Tannen, Deborah, “Talking From 9 to 5”, Avon Books, 1994。 Tannen, Deborah, “You Just Don’t Understand”, Ballantine Books, New York, 1990 Hierarchy Equality Style Assumptions: Style Assumptions: ?Blunt feedback is direct and honest ?Feedback is about business, not feelings ?Blunt feedback is callous and harsh ?The relationship is as important as the message ?Important to be tactful。 Tannen, Deborah, “You Just Don’t Understand”, Ballantine Books, New York, 1990 ? Look to see which characteristics reflect you – may have some from both styles – may act differently depending on the situation